


Old Secrets and Dark Desires

by delightful_fear



Series: Wrong Window [3]
Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Brief mention of Finn's death, M/M, New York City, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-25
Updated: 2016-01-22
Packaged: 2018-05-08 21:03:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 25,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5513246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/delightful_fear/pseuds/delightful_fear
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>New boyfriend?... Good.  Meeting the new boyfriend's family?... Scary as hell.  </p><p>Going back to Ohio for the winter break stirs up a lot of old history.  Will it make Kurt and Sebastian a stronger couple, or pull them apart?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Kurt's stomach was sending all sorts of messages. Excitement, nerves and probably even hunger too. It had been a long time since his hasty breakfast in New York before running out to join Sebastian in the cab. He'd felt too nervous to eat during the flight. 

The feelings seemed to be troubling Sebastian's stomach just as much, if his expression was anything to go by. But at least he hadn't let go of Kurt's hand as they made their way through Columbus.

Kurt was surprised as they pulled up to a large house. He had been expecting a stately mansion, similar to the one Blaine's family had. But instead, it was boxy and modern, all sleek angles and sharp design. 

Getting out of the car, Sebastian was tugging his hand towards the house, impatiently. "My luggage..." Kurt said softly, feeling a bit out of place.

"The driver will bring it in. Come on, let's find the girls." Sebastian's excitement was good to see. Kurt was looking forward to seeing Bianca again, and meeting Kate.

Sebastian barely let go of Kurt's hand to take off his coat and winter boots before tugging him up the wide staircase. "We always used to hang out in Bianca's room. It's the biggest." 

Knocking on a door, he opened it without waiting, dropping Kurt's hand to take a couple steps, hugging Bianca hard as she gave a delighted giggle. Kurt looked over, seeing a dark haired teen that must be Kate, and they gave each other with shy smiles. 

Sebastian swooped down and hugged Kate next, making her laugh as he picked her up slightly. Bianca turned to Kurt with a welcoming look and they hugged hello.

With his arm around the short brunette, Sebastian turned to face Kurt. "Kurt, this is Kate."

She surprised Kurt by jumping forward and hugging Kurt tight, almost knocking him over. "Finally! I'm meeting The Boyfriend." 

Sebastian pulled her off Kurt, giving her a warning glance and Kurt an apologetic grin. "Please forgive my crazy sisters. This is their dream come true... Something they can bug and tease me about all week."

"So, dinner will probably be around 7pm." Bianca looked over at Sebastian. "You might want to grab some stuff from the fridge to hold you over until then."

Nodding, Sebastian took Kurt's hand and they went down to the modern kitchen. After making some sandwiches and grabbing drinks, they went upstairs to Sebastian's room. 

Kurt looked around as they ate, the room so much different than what he'd imagined. It looked like an average teenage boy's bedroom, except a little fancier. Lots of bookcases full of books, sports trophies, pictures. 

When he finished looking around, he met Sebastian's laughing glance. "Does it meet with your expectations?" 

Kurt smirked back. "I half expected a round bed with satin sheets and a sex swing." 

"In my parents house? Kinky!" Sebastian sprawled on the bed, looking relaxed in his low riding jeans and a grey long sleeve tee. "I never brought anyone back here."

That was surprising. Kurt had assumed his parents weren't around much and wouldn't care if Sebastian brought guys home. "So, I'm the only guy to kiss you on this bed?"

Sebastian hooked a finger in Kurt's neckline, pulling him down to kiss. "You are now..." His arms went tight around his body, spreading his legs to settle Kurt between them. Their kiss got hotter and hotter. 

"Um... Bas, we better slow down a little here." Kurt pressed his face against his shoulder, trying to catch his breath. 

Sebastian wasn't helping, still kissing Kurt's neck where he knew he was sensitive, and rocking their hips together. "The door is locked, my parents won't be home for a couple hours, and I can't tell you how many fantasies I've had about you, being in this bed with me."

"Oh really?" Kurt arched his head back, loving the drag of Sebastian's mouth down to his collarbone.

His hands worked under Kurt's shirt, teasing the skin along his waistband. "From the first day in the coffee shop, Kurt. I can't tell you the things I wanted to do to that smart mouth of yours. What I wanted to do to make your eyes burn for me."

Kurt was wiggling under Sebastian's touch, so aroused of the thought of Sebastian fantasizing about him while stroking himself, right here in this bed. Sebastian cupped him through his jeans, and Kurt was almost going to embarrass himself before things even started. 

Grabbing Sebastian's wrists, he pinned Sebastian to the bed, breathing hard. "Fuck, Bas... I'm burning for you right now, and you've hardly touched me yet. And I thought about you too, back then." Time to see if his words could get Sebastian as hot. 

"Yeah right...you had Blaine back then." Sebastian rolled his eyes.

Kurt rocked his hips against Sebastian, loving seeing him so aroused, so responsive. "You were my guilty fantasy. I felt so bad about thinking of you naked, and so gorgeous, but I couldn't resist."

Sebastian's eyes were half-closed, his lips swollen, and he was a bit flushed. "Mmmm.... Fuck, that's hot. Tell me more about young virginal Kurt wanking off to images of me in his head. Tell me all about your hot fantasies." His lips were curled into a small smile, and Kurt could tell he was enjoying this.

"I'd prefer to show you. Do you have any of your Dalton uniform anymore? Or at least the tie?" Kurt leaned down, needing to bite along his neck.

Sebastian just groaned, and then pushed Kurt to the side. After rummaging around in the closet, he came out with a few pieces that looked quite familiar. "Hmmmm.... I have the feeling I'm about to be a very naughty schoolboy." His smirk was 100% sin. 

\----

"See, it even ends with a Christmas Carol! How can you say it's not a Christmas movie?" The sounds of 'Let It Snow' were accompanying the end credits as Bianca smiled and turned off the movie. 

Sebastian pushed Kate off him as he scoffed. "How can a movie with 26 kills be considered a Christmas movie?"

"It takes place at a Christmas Party! He gets back together with his ex-wife!" Bianca argued playfully. "Besides, it's not like you were even watching. You and Kate were wrestling the whole movie."

Sebastian shrugged, his hair a mess from being attacked by his little sister for the last two hours. "See? Proof that all that onscreen carnage makes people more aggressive."

"Time for my movie now." Kate bounced off the cushions, and started 'The Nightmare Before Christmas'.

"Yes, _ma crevette._ Now get off my blanket." Sebastian pulled the blue blanket out from under her as they all settled back down to watch the next movie. 

Snuggling up beside Kurt, Sebastian gave him a questioning glance. "Are you doing OK? Need a washroom break? Anything to eat or drink?" He waved over to the table laden with sodas and every kind of junk food.

Wrapping his arms tight around his boyfriend, Kurt sighed. "Nope. Just need you." After the stuffy formal dinner with Sebastian's parents, it was a relief to change into comfy pajamas and have this movie marathon with his sisters. They obviously made an effort to be a family, the three of them, making the basement into a fort, with cords tied to stable fixtures to hang sheets from. The enclosed area was packed full of cushions and blankets.

They had started with Kurt's pick, since he was the guest, all laughing together over 'Elf'. Sebastian and Kate had rolled their eyes when Bianca had picked 'Die Hard', spending the whole movie in an epic wrestling match while Kurt watched the movie with Bianca. He'd watched enough action movies with his Dad, Finn and the glee guys over the years to enjoy them. 

Now, Sebastian cuddled up next to Kurt as Kate's movie choice started. "You call her 'my shrimp'? That's cute." Kurt liked seeing Sebastian in big brother mode with the teen. She seemed to be at that awkward age where she was sometimes a little girl, sometimes a moody emo teen, with hints of a beautiful, smart woman she would grow into starting to peek out. 

Sebastian shrugged. "I don't know if she's ever translated it." He looked at Kurt consideringly. "Hmmm... I should find a nickname for you."

Kurt posed, giving his best Vogue expression, waiting to hear what Sebastian would come up with.

"Ah... I have it. _Mon petit Chou._ ". Sebastian nodded, looking satisfied. 

Raising his eyebrows, Kurt was unimpressed. "My little cabbage? Really? And you expect me to have sex with you again?"

Sebastian nodded. "And what is your name for me? _Mon dieu de sexe_?"

"My sex god? Ahhh... No." Kurt laughed. 

_"Mon rayon de soleil?"_

"My ray of sunshine? No... Doesn't seem to fit either. What is the French word for 'meerkat'?" Kurt leaned closer to kiss Sebastian's neck. Hearing his boyfriend speaking French was really hot. 

Sebastian just grinned, looking happy, and Kurt couldn't resist stealing a kiss, not caring that his sisters were nearby. Sebastian didn't seem to mind either, and they spent most of the movie that way, making out with cool down breaks of watching the movie. 

"Okay, lovebirds, break it up already." Bianca's voice broke in, and Kurt stirred in Sebastian's arms. He was getting sleepy now. 

Kate was grinning widely at them. "Only Sebastian's choice is left. Let me guess... 'It's a Wonderful Life' or 'How the Grinch Stole Christmas'."

Shrugging, Sebastian smiled at her, singing. "'You're a vile one, Mr Grinch. You've got termites in your smile. You have all the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile, Mr Grinch.'"

Kurt sat up, putting his arms around his knees. "But I want to see you crying like a baby at the end of 'Its a Wonderful Life'."

Getting up, Bianca put the movie in. "OK, but if anyone falls asleep, there's a permanent marker nearby and they might wake up with a moustache."

Try as he might, the long day of the flight, hot afternoon sex and cuddling while watching movies made Kurt very sleepy. Sebastian nudged him, and he awoke to find George Bailey on the bridge. They watched the last part of the film together, and Kurt didn't bug him when he reached for a tissue.

\----  
Disclaimer: I own nothing.

A/N: So I'm posting this chapter today because it's a Christmas-y chapter and it's Christmas! Happy holidays!

I'm still working on the other chapters and haven't worked out what characters will appear in this fic... I'll add tags as I know. :)

-Movie Christmas Marathon:   



	2. Chapter 2

Waking up in a strange bedroom was a bit jarring at first, but at least the man slipping under the covers was very familiar. The movie marathon had ended around 3 am, and Kurt had been too sleepy to argue when Sebastian guided him into the guest bedroom, and returned to his own bedroom alone.

“Mmmmm…” Kurt cuddled close to his boyfriend, loving his bedhead and sleepy expression that made him look like he was so much younger. _So Fucking Adorable._ “Bas, turn on your side, I want to spoon you.” 

Chuckling, Sebastian followed Kurt’s request, and they shifted until Kurt was lying pressed up along the back of Sebastian’s body. It was easier in the opposite position, with Sebastian spooning Kurt, due to their height difference. But this morning, Kurt was just in the mood to hug Sebastian, and press little kisses to the nape of his neck. He wanted to wake up every morning like this. 

But saying something like that aloud would probably make his relationship-virgin boyfriend run screaming for the hills, so Kurt kept that to himself. Sebastian was doing great in the relationship so far, but Kurt was careful to keep the pace slow. It was good for both of them.

“What time is your bus to Lima?” Sebastian asked, his voice a bit scratchy. 

Kurt thought for a second. “I need to be at the station around 2pm. When time is it now?” Sebastian had offered to drive him to Lima, but it was only $15 for the one-way bus ticket and a quick two-hour trip. Kurt wanted Sebastian to be able to visit with his sisters instead of wasting time on the highway.

Sebastian sighed in contentment. “Good. It’s around 10 am now, so there is no big rush.” He seemed to enjoy cuddling in bed in the morning as much as Kurt did. If only they did it more often. 

“So, which one of you three wrote on my arm last night?” He had gone to the washroom during the night, and noticed the black marker on his bicep, like a bad tattoo. At least it was somewhere he could hide it, instead of on his face.

Sebastian’s mouth scrunched to the side. “Kate and I. I did the heart with ‘K+S’ in it. She added the ‘4 ever’ part.” 

“Should I take that as her endorsement that we make a good couple?” Kurt had liked hanging around his sisters, laughing with them over the movies. It was good to know that even though Sebastian was not close with his parents, he had a good connection with both of them. 

Rolling onto his back, Sebastian groaned. “They are over the moon about you. That’s part of the reason I offered to drive you to Lima! I’m just trying to put off going back to hear them gush on and on about how awesome you are and that I don’t deserve you.” He reached down, taking Kurt’s hand in his. Turning it over, he stroked along Kurt’s palm.

Kurt was pleased, but there was a nagging thought he wanted to discuss. “Bas, why don’t you want to sleep in the same bed with me? We have only done it twice in all these months together.” 

“Oh, you are keeping count, are you?” Sebastian leaned over to give Kurt a light kiss.

“Well, if we are going to be a couple forever like Kate wants, we need to work out the bed thing. I don’t picture living with you later on with two single beds in our bedroom, like a 1950’s couple or something.” Kurt tried not to be distracted by Sebastian’s lips so close by and so kissable.

“You picture us living together in the future?” Sebastian’s eyes widened, surprised at Kurt’s comment. 

Kurt smiled, shrugging. “Sure. I can picture our funky little loft in Soho… but at this rate, we might as well have bunk beds in the bedroom.” 

Sebastian bit his lip, his eyes losing their humorous spark, and becoming serious. He sighed. “It’s really not a great story, Kurt.” 

“Can you tell me, Bas? I don’t want to push you if you don’t feel comfortable.” Kurt was now the one stroking his hand, his gaze holding Sebastian’s. 

He was quiet, and Kurt was beginning to think that he was going to say that he didn’t want to talk about it, not now.

“It’s hard to know where to start.” Sebastian glanced up, holding Kurt’s gaze. “When you came out to your Dad, what was your worst fear?”

Kurt’s eyebrows rose and he thought back to that time, back when he was a sophomore, and hadn’t even kissed anyone yet. But he was certain of who he was, and it had only been the two of them living together for half of his life. What if his father had reacted a different way? There was no one else he could have turned to back then.

“I was afraid that he would reject me. That forevermore the way he would look at me would be tinged with disgust. I didn’t think he would kick me out of the house or rant about religion or anything like that, but I was afraid he would stop loving me.” Kurt said honestly. Stories of teens coming out to their parents and then being treated horribly was certainly not uncommon. LGBT youths have the highest rates of suicide attempts of kids their age. 

Sebastian nodded. “Well, I was fourteen and tall for my age. I thought I knew everything, in that way that teenagers do. I had had some fumbling encounters with older boys, and knew the truth about myself. I don’t know why I came out to my parents. It’s not like we were close or anything. Maybe I thought that since we aren’t a religious family, that they would accept it and treat me normally if I brought a boyfriend around, like Bianca had as a teenager.”

He shifted in the bed, and ran his hands through his hair. “So, I sat them down alone one night and told them. And their expressions were of complete shock. My father ranted and raved… it was bad. The long and the short of it was that I was disgusting, and I better not tell anyone else. I was told in no uncertain terms that I had to hide this. Stay in the closet. And the worst part was they only cared about how it would look, what other people would think. My father’s bloody political career.” 

Kurt shifted closer; wrapping his arms around him tight and leaned his head to rest against Sebastian’s. 

“Suddenly, I felt so alone in the world. Bianca was far, far away and busy with college. Kate was too young to turn to. I didn’t have any gay friends or role models, and I was afraid to come out to any friends in case they reacted in a similar way.” Sebastian laced his fingers with Kurt. 

“What did you do?” Kurt wondered what he would have done in the situation. He would have felt similar if his Dad had reacted like that. 

Sebastian’s jaw clenched. “I took the hurt and the pain and changed it into anger. Defiance. They wanted me to hide it and be a good little boy. I was determined to be the opposite. I was stupidly reckless. It’s amazing that I’m still around, really.” He shrugged his shoulder. 

Kurt nodded. It made sense, in a way. He continued to hold Sebastian, glad that they had this quiet time together to talk.

“It all came to a head about a year later. By then, I was drinking, partying, sneaking into bars with a fake ID, thankful I was tall enough to not be scrutinized too closely. Barely making it to school and half asleep in the classes. I was getting sloppier, and maybe I wanted to get caught. I don’t know.” Sebastian stared at the ceiling, his eyes distant as he brought up the memories.

Kurt moved a hand up, stroking it over Sebastian’s hair soothingly. 

Sebastian looked away, his expression tightening with what he was remembering. “I had gone home with a guy from the bar, and we had fallen asleep. I didn’t mean to, but I'd had too many late nights or something. I just remember my father dragging me naked from some stranger’s bed. Ordering me to dress. Threatening the guy with statutory rape charges if he said anything to anyone.”

“The next period was pure hell. I was suddenly in France, with an aunt I had only met twice. Away from everyone and everything I’d ever known, at fifteen. I only knew about a dozen words of French.” Sebastian shrugged again. “A year later, she shipped me back and they put me into Dalton. I was a junior instead of a senior because my education had been spotty for two years.”

Kurt was stroking a hand up and down his back, and could feel how Sebastian tensed up as he talked about this. And no wonder. Sebastian had been through so much, at such a young age.

Finally looking back to Kurt’s gaze, he looked raw, so open. “Ever since that night I was ‘caught’, I find it almost impossible to fall asleep with someone. I get all anxious and tense.”

Kurt nodded. “Well, it was a very traumatic time of your life. It makes sense you have emotions tied back to that.” 

Sebastian cupped Kurt’s cheek. “What are you doing with a mess like me, Kurt Hummel?”

Leaning closer, Kurt gave Sebastian a light kiss, simply brushing their lips together. “I’m counting my lucky stars, Sebastian Smythe.” The more he got to know this man, the more he admired his bravery and was amazed at all he had gone through.

He had almost said something else though, and the words were ringing around his head. Echoing. _I think I’m falling for you, Sebastian Smythe._

\----

Disclaimer: I own nothing.


	3. Chapter 3

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck..." Sebastian swore, as the knocking sound coming from the engine seemed to be getting louder. _Damn, that was definitely not a good sign._

Pulling over, he got out his phone. 

"Hey, where are you?" Kurt answered quickly. 

Sebastian looked around for a street sign or a landmark. "I'm in Lima, but my car is making some weird noises. I'm not sure if I will make it worse if I keep driving it."

"Hmmm... Well, I'll drive over there and take a look. If it's bad, we'll arrange for a tow." Kurt said, his tone practical. "Can you access the map app on your phone? It should show you where you are."

\----

Kurt arrived soon, hopping out of his car dressed in old clothes. He got in the passenger side of Sebastian's car, and grabbed his head for a deep kiss. 

"Hello to you too." Sebastian smirked when Kurt finally pulled back. It was so good to see him again, his skin rosy from the cold outside and his blue-grey eyes sparkling with happiness. Kurt was a sight for sore eyes, looking handsome in his casual clothes.

Kurt smiled back. "How about you drive a little so I can hear the engine noise?"

After a couple minutes, Kurt asked Sebastian to take him back to his car. "The garage is close to here and you should be OK to drive it that far. You can follow my car." Kurt hopped out and was soon getting into his own vehicle.

\---  
Fifteen minutes later they were pulling into Hummel Tire and Lube. Sebastian's stomach tightened, knowing he was going to meet Burt now instead of at dinner. 

Kurt was standing beside a middle-aged man with sparse hair and large, friendly eyes. 

"Dad, this is Sebastian. Sebastian, Burt Hummel." Kurt smiled as he looked between the two men, the affection he had for both of them clearly showing on his face. 

Sebastian held out his hand. "Pleasure to meet you, Mr. Hummel. Kurt talks about you a lot."

Kurt's Dad gave a warm smile in return, looking Sebastian over as he shook his hand. "Call me Burt, please. I've heard a thing or two about you as well." He took a couple steps towards Sebastian's car. "So, what's wrong with it?"

Kurt put his hand on his Dad's arm. "I've already listened to it and I'm pretty sure one of the belts is loose. Should be a quick repair. Sebastian, why don't you pull into the garage while I get my coveralls on?"

Burt opened the garage bay and directed Sebastian inside. Kurt reappeared, in old, oil-stained navy coveralls with a ‘Hummel Tire and Lube' patch on the front. There was a dark green bandana tied around his head. 

Standing off to the side, Sebastian watched as Kurt and his Dad popped the hood and bent over the engine. Seeing Kurt pick tools and parts easily, chatting and joking with Burt as they worked, just showed how comfortable Kurt was with this. He had obviously worked in the garage a lot growing up. 

Straightening up, Kurt grabbed a rag to wipe his hands on, and closed the hood. There was a smear of dirt or oil on his forehead, and he was a little sweaty from the work. Sebastian casually snuck out his phone and snapped a few pictures. 

Kurt jogged over to Sebastian. "It should be OK now. How about we drive back to the house to test it?" 

Sebastian nodded and looked around quickly before dragging Kurt closer for a fast, hot kiss. "Please tell me that the house will be empty and you'll keep those coveralls on."

Kurt's eyes widened and then he nodded, the curve of his smile becoming decidedly wicked. 

\---  
Sebastian barely had time to see anything of the main floor of the house, as Kurt had dragged him up to the bedroom and pinned him against the door. Their kisses were immediately hot and hungry. It had only been four days, but with enough sexting that they were both horny as hell.

"How much time before your parents get home?" Sebastian gasped as Kurt attacked his neck, his hands pushing up his shirt to knead into the bare skin of his lower back. It almost felt like they were teenagers, sneaking in sex before parents would be around. It made it feel even more urgent. 

Kurt glanced at his clock radio. "Three hours... Tons of time." 

"Not for everything I have planned to do to you." Sebastian whispered against Kurt's ear, biting his neck before starting to undo the snaps on the coverall. Kurt was panting by the time Sebastian was pulling on the drawstring of his loose yoga pants. 

Sinking down to his knees, Sebastian was kissing Kurt's stomach as he pushed the fabric out of the way. Fully clothed and leaning back against the door, Kurt tried to stay standing as Sebastian’s talented mouth took him deep right from the start, his pace and intensity leaving Kurt nothing to do but moan as he gave himself over to the incredible sensations. 

But Sebastian stopped, getting up and stripping, his eyes glinting as Kurt's eyes followed his every move. When Kurt moved to shrug off the coveralls, Sebastian's hand on his arm stilled him. "No, I like you dressed like that. It's so hot." 

Digging around in the bedside table, Sebastian pulled out a bottle of lube and a condom, giving them to Kurt as he crawled on the bed. Seeing Sebastian, naked and aroused, on his bed was almost too much for Kurt. 

\----

Kurt was very glad the house was empty, as he laid down on the bed beside Sebastian, trying to catch his breath. They had both been rather loud, with moans and hot words.

"So, did I do OK in the role of the hot mechanic?" Kurt ran an appreciative hand down Sebastian's sweaty chest. 

Sebastian scoffed. "You weren't playing a role, Kurt. You are a mechanic and you are fucking hot." He had a satisfied look Kurt loved seeing on his face, a mix of his orgasm glow with affection. "And that was so fucking good."

Smiling to himself, Kurt relaxed beside Sebastian. They lazily touched each other's bodies, fingertips exploring. Sometimes, he worried that Sebastian would get bored with their sex life, after all the wild partners he'd had. Kurt had only been with Adam and Blaine, so he knew the basics. But did he know enough to keep Sebastian satisfied? 

Sitting up, he stretched and stood up to slip his clothes off. He felt dirty from working in the shop and sweaty from the sex. Sebastian just watched with an appreciative eye, reminding Kurt of a lion after a full meal still eyeing the nearby prey. 

"I'm going to take a shower, so just relax for a bit." Kurt leaned over to kiss Sebastian lightly. 

Sebastian sat up. "A shower sounds good, actually. I'll scrub your back."

Kurt raised his eyebrows, glancing at the clock again. And the idea of running his soapy hands all over Sebastian in his shower was very tempting. He held out his hand to Sebastian in invitation.

\----

“I got you to hold my hand,” Sebastian sang, reaching over to grab Kurt’s hand.

Kurt smiled at him and sang back, “I got you to understand.” 

“I got you to walk with me,” Sebastian crooned, working the crowd.

Channeling his inner Cher, Kurt sang, “I got you to talk with me.”

“I got you to kiss goodnight.” Sebastian waggled his eyebrows, trying to make Kurt laugh. 

“I got you to hold me tight.” Kurt tried not to squeal when Sebastian stepped behind him and hugged around his waist.

Popping his head on Kurt’s shoulder, Sebastian smirked for his next line. “I got you, I won't let go.”

Kurt covered Sebastian’s hands with his own. “I got you to love me so.”

As they finished their version of ‘I Got You, Babe’, the group cheered and they bowed, still holding hands. 

Hopping off the little stage in Rachel’s basement, Kurt tugged Sebastian over to the table to get them a couple more drinks. 

The dinner with Burt and Carole had gone well, Sebastian was at his most charming even though Kurt knew he had been very nervous. Knowing it would be a bit much for Sebastian to hang out with them all night, he figured escaping to Rachel's karaoke party would be fun. Plus, he kind of wanted to show off his new, sexy boyfriend to his old high school friends. 

“That was really good, guys.” Mercedes smiled, holding out a bowl of cheezies to them. 

Sebastian took a handful. “I’m rusty, but singing with a future Broadway star makes me look good.” He nudged Kurt’s shoulder.

Mercedes was looking between them, watching their interplay. “So, how long have you two been a thing?”

They spoke at the same time. “About a month.” Kurt replied, while Sebastian said, “Four months.” And they both turned to look at each other, sharing a laughing look. 

Chuckling, Mercedes moved away. Rachel was waving her onto the stage for her turn at the microphone.

Kurt bit his lip. “I guess I was counting since we were officially boyfriends.”

Moving closer, Sebastian’s eyes were on Kurt’s lips. “And I was counting from the first time I kissed you. Because it was definitely a ‘thing’ for me from that moment on.”

 _Fuck._ Sebastian said he wasn’t good at relationships, and then he would say things like that. Grabbing his hand, Kurt tugged him into a dark corner and pushed him against the wall. Crowding close against him, Kurt kissed those smirking lips. 

\---  
A little later, they were cuddling on the couch, and Kurt could feel his eyelids getting heavy, enjoying the sounds of his friends singing.

 _It all just sounds like oooooh…_  
_Mmm, too young, too dumb to realize_  
_That I should've bought you flowers_  
_And held your hand_  
_Should've gave you all my hours_  
_When I had the chance_  
_Take you to every party_  
_'Cause all you wanted to do was dance_  
_Now my baby's dancing_  
_But she's dancing with another man_

He felt Sebastian tensing up, and then shaking Kurt a little. 

“Hey, I’m going to sing a song now. Will you listen carefully?” Sebastian’s eyes were intent on Kurt’s, and looked satisfied when Kurt nodded.

Sebastian got on stage, grabbing hold of the microphone, his eyes only on Kurt. 

_Maybe it’s much too early in the game_  
_Ah, but I thought I'd ask you just the same_  
_What are you doing New Year's,_  
_New Year's Eve?_

 _Wonder whose arms will hold you good and tight_  
_When it’s exactly twelve o'clock that night_  
_Welcoming in the New Year,_  
_New Year's Eve_

 _Maybe I'm crazy to suppose_  
_I'd ever be the one you chose_  
_Out of the thousand invitations_  
_You receive_

 _Ah, but in case I stand one little chance_  
_Here comes the jackpot question in advance_  
_What are you doing New Year's,_  
_New Year's Eve?_

And Kurt was there as Sebastian stepped off the stage, giving him a tight hug. “You’ve got a date for New Year’s, Bas.” He whispered in his ear, really touched by the song. 

Sebastian smiled down at Kurt. “We’ll do something special in New York, just the two of us.” He looked around, and the party seemed to be winding down. “Are you OK to go now?” 

Leaning his head against Sebastian’s shoulder, Kurt nodded. “Yeah, let’s get out of here.” 

And as they left, Sebastian looked across the room, nodding at Blaine. Kurt hadn’t seemed to notice when Blaine had arrived at the party, and wasn’t even paying attention when he’d gotten on the stage to sing that Bruno Mars song. But Sebastian knew Kurt would probably hear about it later from one of his friends.

Obviously, Blaine wasn’t too happy about seeing Kurt with Sebastian. 

\---  
Disclaimer: I own nothing.

A/N:  
- _‘I Got You Babe’_ by Sonny and Cher (1965)  
- _‘When I Was Your Man’_ by Bruno Mars (2012)  
- _‘What Are You Doing New Year’s Eve?’_ by Frank Loesser (1947)


	4. Chapter 4

Sebastian awoke to Kurt kissing him lightly, a wide smile spreading across his face as he realized Sebastian was awake. “Good morning.” 

Arching his back and extending his arms up over his head, Sebastian stretched before looking back at his boyfriend. “Morning. You are looking awfully peppy for this early hour.” 

Kurt grabbed his hand. “Come on, Grumpy Pants. I made pancakes. You can leave your pajamas on.” 

Rolling his eyes, Sebastian got out of bed. “Pajamas? I didn’t bring any.” He was only wearing boxer briefs.

Looking over his boyfriend, Kurt had to push down the desire to push him back in the bed and kiss every inch of his skin. Maybe they could do that after breakfast, once his parents were out of the house. “Come on. I’ll lend you a robe.” 

Carole and Burt were already digging into their meal as Kurt pulled Sebastian into the kitchen. “Morning.” Sebastian nodded at them, feeling a little uncomfortable with his hair all messy, but their greetings were friendly and made him relax slightly.

“So, what do you boys have planned for today?” Carole asked, cupping her coffee mug with both hands. 

Sebastian glanced over at Kurt, shrugging. “It’s your town.” 

Placing their breakfast plates on the table, Kurt sat down. “Well, just having a lazy day watching movies and stuff. And I was thinking of taking you out for dinner.” 

Sebastian’s eyebrows rose. “Really? Like a date?” 

“It will be a date. At Breadstix.” Kurt smiled at his boyfriend. 

Burt chuckled. “You two have been living in New York for a few years, eating in great restaurants, and you are going to eat at Breadstix?” He grimaced slightly.

Kurt shrugged. “It’s kind of a dating tradition around here.”

“Oh, remind me to give you the Christmas gift from Bianca and Kate. They’ll probably expect you to call them today to say what you think of it.” Sebastian looked over at Kurt. They were going to exchange their Christmas gifts to each other tonight, when they were alone.

“Those are your sisters, right?” Carole asked. “I’d love to see their gift, if you don’t mind.” She looked between Kurt and Sebastian.

Sebastian shrugged. “Sure. I’ll just go grab it.” Going up to the guest bedroom, he got the package from his suitcase, and returned to the kitchen.

Looking at the nicely wrapped box, Kurt ripped off the paper. Opening it up, he let out a little laugh. “How the hell did they get ahold of that picture?” Pulling out a black-framed photograph, he turned it towards Sebastian, who groaned.

Burt and Carole were looking between them, their eyes curious, and Kurt knew there was no way he could get away with not showing them the picture. Blushing slightly, he passed it to Carole.

“Awwwww, that is so sweet!” Carole laughed, glancing up at the younger men, who were both looking a little embarrassed. Burt was chuckling.

Sighing, Kurt took the picture back. “It was from one of our first dates. Sebastian took me to an old fashioned soda shop.” The picture was a black and white blow-up of the two of them sipping on one soda with two bendy straws, their faces in profile, looking at each other across the glass. 

“I will be killing my older sister when I see her next. It was a private picture on my phone.” Sebastian gave Kurt an apologetic glance.

Putting his hand over Sebastian’s, Kurt gave it a little squeeze. “Don’t worry about it. It’s nice having such a pretty framed picture of that. It is one of my favorite dates with you.”

“Well, until tonight. I’m sure Breadstix will blow it out of the water.” Sebastian laughed. 

\----  
“So, are we actually going to watch movies today, or was that something you just told your parents?” Sebastian chuckled, pushing Kurt’s hair back off his forehead. As soon as Burt and Carole had left for work, he had encouraged Kurt to return to bed.

Snuggling along Sebastian’s side, Kurt closed his eyes in contentment. “Have I tired you out already?” 

“No.” Sebastian wrapped his arms around his boyfriend. “Thanks for arranging for the separate bedroom for me and everything.”

Kurt opened his eyes, giving Sebastian a searching look. “Well, after what you told me last time, I wanted you to feel comfortable here.”

“I talked to Bianca about it a couple days ago.” Sebastian’s voice was soft.

“Really? What did she say?” Kurt was surprised but pleased to hear that Sebastian was not closing off on the topic.

Sebastian sighed. “She is going to work on our parents to cover therapy for me in New York.”

Rolling over on top of Sebastian, Kurt smiled and gave him a few slow, soft kisses. “Have I told you lately that you are amazing?”

“I haven’t done anything!” Sebastian laughed. “Not yet.” 

“Yeah, but I think you are brave to face this, to talk about it.” Kurt moved back to Sebastian’s side.

Sebastian played with Kurt’s hand on his chest. “Bianca is the amazing one. She is the one that took on my parents when she found out that I was in France, argued with them about it.” 

Kurt nodded. “Really? What happened?” 

“She basically said she would leak the whole story to the press unless they negotiated with her. She worked out a deal that I would return to the US and go to a boarding school, that I would be out of the closet, and they would cover the costs of everything until I finish college. Getting more money out of them to cover therapy should be nothing for her.” Sebastian gave a smug look.

If Kurt wasn’t already half in love with Bianca, he was now. “I wish I had a sister like her.” 

Sebastian smirked down at Kurt. “Is that why you are with me? You are trying to marry me to get Bianca as a sister-in-law?”

“Is that a proposal?” Kurt joked back.

“Sheesh. You just broke up with your last fiancé earlier this year. Are you really trying to jump back on that rollercoaster?” Sebastian laid flat on his back.

Kurt shook his head. “Completely joking.” He placed his folded arms on Sebastian’s chest, and rested his chin on them. “But I am a little jealous of the relationship you have with your sisters. It makes me miss Finn.” 

Sebastian looked around the room. “This was his bedroom before, wasn’t it?” The room was a very neutral guest bedroom, with no personal knick-knacks.

“Yeah. It still feels a bit weird to come in here and not see his stuff everywhere. And this was only our second Christmas without him.” Kurt sighed. 

Sebastian widened his eyes. “Is it OK for me to be here? Staying in the house? I don’t want to make things worse in any way.” 

Kurt shook his head. “The opposite, I think. I can tell Carole likes having you around. Maybe it’s because you are tall, or just hearing us goofing around, bugging each other. I think little things like that remind her of the good memories of Finn.” 

Wrapping his arms around his boyfriend, Sebastian stroked his hands up and down his back soothingly.

\----

“This is seriously awful pasta.” Sebastian smirked, dropping his fork, barely a third of his meal eaten. 

Kurt shrugged. “Yeah, but it’s a tradition around here to eat here. The cheesecake is pretty good.” 

Getting up from their booth, Sebastian gave Kurt a light kiss near his ear. “How about you order us a piece and some coffee? I’m just going to the washroom.” 

Nodding, Kurt got the server to clear away the dinner plates and placed the dessert order. Pulling at his phone, Kurt tilted his head down to read his emails as he waited for Sebastian to come back. 

“I think Blaine wants to get back together with Kurt. Why else would he have sung that song to him at your party?” 

Kurt’s ears perked up at hearing his name, and looking around subtly, he saw Rachel and Mercedes sitting down at a table on the other side of a partition, one table over. _What was this about Blaine being at the party?_

“Yeah, he was certainly watching Kurt with Sebastian the whole time. But I don’t think Kurt would want to get back together. Kurt and Sebastian are a good couple, actually.” Rachel argued back. 

Kurt was a bit surprised, but pleased at her comments. She was defending his new relationship. It meant a lot to him that his good friend believed in it. 

Sebastian returned, and was standing beside the table. Kurt looked up from his phone at him. “Isn’t that Rachel sitting over there?” 

Kurt sat up straighter, and turned in his seat to follow Sebastian’s gaze. Rachel was smiling at Sebastian and Kurt gave her a little wave. 

He shrugged. “It’s a small city and everyone comes here a lot. It’s stranger to come here and not see someone you know.” 

“Should we go join them?” Sebastian still hadn’t sat down, and Kurt nodded, signalling to the server. 

“Hi there. Is it OK if Sebastian and I join you for a bit?” Kurt asked when they got to the other booth. Rachel and Mercedes moved over, giving them room. 

Mercedes smiled over at Sebastian. “So, how do you like Breadstix?” 

Sebastian chuckled. “It’s bloody awful.” The server was bringing over their cheesecake. “Kurt says the dessert is good at least.” 

“Thanks for the fun party the last night, Rachel.” Kurt said, wanting to see if they would bring up Blaine around him. 

She nodded. “I liked your version of ‘I Got You, Babe’.” 

Sebastian smirked. “Well, you didn’t have ‘Closer’ by Nine Inch Nails in your karaoke collection.” 

“I would have liked to have seen Blaine’s face if you had sung that!” Mercedes giggled. 

Kurt looked from Mercedes to Sebastian, who did not seem surprised at all at the mention of Blaine being at the party. “You know, I must have been snoozing on Sebastian’s shoulder, but I didn’t even see Blaine at the party. Did he get there pretty late?” 

Looking down at Kurt a bit curiously, Sebastian answered, his tone neutral. “He was there for about an hour before we left.” 

Kurt nodded, and shrugged. Was it weird that they were at the same party and Blaine hadn’t come over to say Hi? Was it strange that he was cuddled up with Sebastian with Blaine maybe watching them? Would he have acted different with Sebastian, knowing Blaine was there? Was it weird that he was even wondering about this still? 

The conversation went on with Rachel, Mercedes and Sebastian, as Kurt was thinking about this. 

\--- 

The beat of the dance music made conversation hard, but Kurt was pretty sure he didn’t want to really know what the man beside him was trying to say. He caught the word ‘hot’ and ‘ass’ and more or less could guess the gist. Kurt just nodded in acknowledgement, and then turned away. 

Sipping on his vodka tonic, Kurt surveyed the room. It hadn’t changed much in the last few years. A small, rundown club, full of the same people who were probably here the last time he had visited. 

“Hey, Barely Legal. Can I buy you a drink?” A tall man sat down on the stool beside him, a sexy smile on his handsome face. 

Kurt looked him over thoroughly, and liked what he saw. “You look about the same age as I am.” 

The sexy smile widened. “Yes, but I have years more of experience.” The smile and his eyes promised that Kurt would enjoy being on the receiving end of that experience. 

Setting down his empty drink, Kurt nodded. “OK, get me a vodka tonic.” 

The tall man waved to the bartender and soon another drink was being slid Kurt’s way. After squeezing the lime wedge into the drink, Kurt sipped it quickly down. 

“What’s your hurry, gorgeous?” His admirer drawled, taking a long draw on his beer. 

Shrugging, Kurt looked back at his green eyes, framed by such long lashes. “I’m tired of sitting here. Doesn’t anyone dance in this bar?” 

Setting down his drink, the tall man stood up and held a hand out to Kurt. Taking it, Kurt was pulled onto the dance floor, where only a few other couples were dancing, drunk and hanging onto each other. 

Kurt could feel the two drinks hitting his system as the music switched to a sultry slow beat. He was about to turn around, when his dance partner grabbed hold of his hips, pulling him back to grind together. Lifting a hand, Kurt leaned back against his chest as his hand found the back of his neck. It had been too long since he’d done this. There was something so delicious about surrendering yourself to a heavy beat, closing your eyes, sinking into it. To do it while grinding back against a tall, gorgeous man just made it that much better. 

“So fucking hot.” His partner growled into his ear, his hands tightening on his hips. 

Maybe if he hadn’t been a little drunk, Kurt wouldn’t have responded to those words by rocking backwards, rubbing his ass deliberately against what he was pretty sure was a hard cock encased in jeans. 

“Fuck. Be careful what you do with that hot ass, babe.” The voice in his ear sounded a little breathier. 

Kurt smiled, feeling sexy. Wanted. “Or what?” He ground back again the same way, this time eliciting a harsh moan from his dance partner. 

“Or I’ll drag you off to a dark corner and have my wicked way with you.” His hands were spaying over Kurt’s stomach. 

Kurt turned to face his dance partner, looking up at his sexy, green eyes and giving him his hottest look. Pushing a leg between his, Kurt moved as close as he could, grinding his erection against his hip. 

His partner’s eyes closed, a low moan rumbling out of his chest. “You aren’t playing fair, hot stuff.” 

“Where is that dark corner you mentioned?” Kurt was too aroused to care how this might look. 

He heard his partner swear, and then he was pulling on his hand, dragging him off the dance floor. Before he knew it, they were in a stall of the men’s bathroom, the door being latched behind them. 

Immediately, they were kissing, hot, hard and urgent. Kurt’s hands were fumbling with the button-fly of his jeans, pulling it open and pushing underwear aside, until he was stroking a beautiful, hard cock. Squatting down, he braced himself with hands on the man’s thighs as he got lost in kissing, sucking and licking. Fingers digging into his hair and harsh moans were signals that his partner was appreciative. It was hot, fast and dirty. Just the way he wanted it. 

He was prepared to keep going, but he was hauled up, being pushed against the bathroom wall. His partner was swearing as he pushed at Kurt’s clothes, his hand stroking his erection in a fast pace as soon as it was exposed. Kurt reciprocated, and they shared hot, breathless kisses, as they both got closer to completion. 

Kurt moaned loudly as he reached his peak, and his partner covered his mouth with his own, panting and kissing him as he shuddered. 

As their breathing slowed down, Kurt gave a bit of a laugh, reaching over for some toilet paper to clean them both up, and then straightening up his clothes. 

His partner gave him a laughing glance as he fastened his jeans. “You were so loud, Kurt.” 

Kurt chuckled. “Sorry, I didn’t read over the rules of bathroom hook-ups before doing this. Is that a bad thing?” 

Sebastian rolled his eyes. “Well, it’s a bathroom in a gay bar, so things like this happen from time to time, but usually the people involved try to keep the volume down a bit.” 

“Well, now I know. I’ll do better next time.” Kurt smirked as he opened the stall door and peeked out. It was luckily empty. The booze had made him a little braver than normal, but he was glad he wouldn’t be facing knowing glances from strangers. Strangers who just heard him cum loudly. Going to the sink, he washed his hands and checked his appearance. 

Washing his hands too, Sebastian looked over at Kurt, his saucy smirk firmly in place. “Next time?” 

\---- 

Disclaimer: I own nothing.


	5. Chapter 5

Kurt nibbled on his cucumber sandwich as he looked around the lush room. Everything seemed to have a light golden hue, broken up by the tall palms that arched up towards the massive stained glass domed ceiling.

Across the table, Sebastian chuckled at Kurt’s rapt expression as he sipped tea from a fine china cup. He seemed perfectly at ease in the elegant surroundings. 

Taking one of the warm scones, Kurt spread it with Devonshire cream and a little lemon curd. It was decadent, but delicious. Totally worth the calories. “This is so beautiful, Bas.” Kurt looked over at Sebastian, smiling with delight.

“So, it’s a good Christmas present then? It’s not as personal as what you gave me.” Sebastian took a piece of gingerbread cake from the top of their three-tier stand. 

They had exchanged gifts when they were together in Lima. Sebastian had given him a CD of the jazz group they had heard at the jazz club, with a card promising high tea at The Plaza’s Palm Court when they returned to New York. 

Kurt’s gifts to Sebastian had been a DVD of 'The Taming of the Shrew', a cashmere scarf and a set of magnetic poetry that Kurt had created. He had printed out all sorts of words from the computer, attaching them to magnetic tape. Words had included their names and people they knew, lots of swears and rude words, words from Shakespeare and Dr. Seuss. Sebastian had loved it.

Kurt reached over, giving Sebastian’s hand a squeeze as he gave him a warm look. “It's fantastic. There is so much history to this hotel. It’s so iconic to New York. Thank you so much, Bas.” He was glad he had dressed up, liking that they were both wearing suits. _Damn, he had a hot boyfriend._

By the time they had finished all the savory sandwiches, scones and pastries, they were pleasantly full. 

“Would you like to walk around the hotel a little? Explore? It was all restored about ten years ago.” Sebastian offered, pushing back his chair. 

Kurt got up also. “Sure. That sounds good.” Happily, he took Sebastian’s hand as they walked out to the lobby of the elegant, five-star hotel. It was decorated for Christmas still, softly lit with so many white Christmas lights.

Sebastian’s arm went around Kurt’s shoulders, tucking him against his side, as Kurt loped his arm around his waist to cuddle close. They went into the elevator, admiring the beaux-arts décor.

Walking down one of the hallways, Sebastian stopped and pulled out a card from his pocket. Quickly swiping it into a door lock, Kurt just looked at him in shock when Sebastian pushed the door open.

“What are you doing?” Kurt laughed, as Sebastian walked into the room, tugging Kurt with him. They had stepped into a large elegant suite, with beige-gold furnishings and cream walls. 

Sebastian grinned widely, happy that his surprise had worked so well. Wrapping his arms around his boyfriend, he leaned down until their foreheads were touching. “What is the date today?” 

Kurt blinked up at him, his blue-grey eyes wide. “December 31st.” 

“And didn’t you promise that I had a date for New Year’s Eve?” Sebastian smiled.

Realization dawned in Kurt’s expression. “I thought we were going to have a quiet night in! I thought the high tea was our way to celebrate and avoid the crowds.”

Sebastian scrunched his lips to one side. “Well, I kind of planned some things that are pretty much the opposite of that… I hope you don’t mind.” 

“What are we going to be doing?” Kurt was curious now. 

Pulling back, Sebastian waved around them. “Well, we have this room for the night. I thought we could relax a little. Then we have tickets to a Broadway show.”

Kurt’s eyes were still a bit shocked. He walked around the beautiful room, taking in the Louis XV style furniture, the separate bedroom with its king size bed. “This is too much, Bas.” His voice was soft, as he turned back towards Sebastian.

Taking Kurt’s hands, Sebastian leveled a straight look at him. “The high tea was your Christmas present. The room and the show are the New Year’s date. I know it’s a bit fancy, but I wanted to spoil you, Kurt. Besides, it’s the first time I’ve ever had a boyfriend to celebrate the New Year with.” 

And he could tell that Kurt was swayed, and Sebastian stepped behind him to help him slip off his suit jacket. “Now, we have three hours before we need to leave for the play. I think we should take off these suits so they don’t get wrinkled.” 

Kurt just smirked at him, a little bemused, as Sebastian undressed him down to his undershirt and briefs. Soon, Sebastian was undressed similarly. He carefully hung their clothes up. “Why don’t you explore the suite as I open up some champagne?” 

\---  
Kurt leaned into Sebastian as they walked out of the theatre, into the crisp late night air. They had seen ‘The Book of Mormon’, and they both were practically sore from laughing so hard. As they walked down the street, they kept singing inappropriate lines from the songs to each other. The crowds were thick with all the theatre crowds heading home, and there was a big thrum of energy everywhere. 

“We are really close to Times Square. Want to walk that direction and see the ball drop? The crowds might be pretty insane.” Sebastian offered, looking towards Kurt.

Kurt shrugged. “I’ve always been curious about it. Maybe we could just go that direction and see if we can get some pictures of the ball and the crowds. I don’t know if I want to stay there until midnight if the crowds are too big.”

It was a few blocks away, and the crowds were getting thicker. Police were everywhere, directing people. The areas closest to the ball were already full, so police were directing people to various viewing stations along 7th Avenue, going for blocks. After taking a few pictures, Kurt and Sebastian moved away from the area.

Heading a couple blocks east, Sebastian pulled Kurt in front of Rockefeller Centre, the huge gorgeous Christmas tree still all lit up. After getting some mochas from a street cart nearby, they sipped while watching the skaters circle around the rink. 

Glancing at his cellphone, Sebastian looked over at Kurt. “Would you like to walk back to the hotel? I was thinking we could ring in the New Year in our room, with champagne. Just the two of us.” 

Kurt nodded. It was getting a little chilly, and he liked the idea of just celebrating together.

\---  
Back in their room, they had shucked off their suit jackets and ties. Kurt turned on the TV to watch the Times Square Ball Drop, feeling a little surreal since they were just down there, walking around those streets only an hour ago. Sebastian was opening another bottle of champagne. 

“How long until midnight?” Sebastian asked, as he put out champagne flutes.

Kurt looked over at the TV. “Six minutes.” 

Sebastian gave him a funny look, like he was holding back on saying something. Kurt stepped forward. “What? What are you thinking?”

Rolling his eyes, Sebastian looked a bit embarrassed. “I just had this sudden image of ringing in the New Year with you, drinking this champagne, naked in a bubble bath. Is that too goofy? Too… I don’t know… “ 

Kurt chuckled. “I think it’s great! I’m going to go start the bath. I think we have just enough time.” He was unbuttoning his shirt as he rushed into the bathroom. It was an incredibly elegant room, with white marble mosaics of leaves with swooping stems across the floor and wall. There was high end bath products supplied, and Kurt put bubble bath into the claw-foot tub before turning the 24 karat gold taps on as high as they could. The bubbles were soon frothing up.

Going back into the other room, he quickly stripped down to his briefs, laying his clothes over the back of a chair. Sebastian was already undressed similarly, and gathering up the bottle and glasses to take them into the bathroom.

“Two minutes…” Sebastian said, leaning down to give Kurt a quick kiss in passing. 

Back in the bathroom, Kurt saw that Sebastian had turned the lights down low, and was already in the tub, leaning back against the back curve. “Quick, get in.” 

With a giggle, Kurt shimmied out of his underwear, comfortable naked in front of his boyfriend after so many months together. But as he stepped into the tub, he still blushed a little at Sebastian’s heated gaze over his skin. Sitting at the other end of the tub, facing Sebastian, he grabbed the glasses, holding them out as Sebastian filled them. 

They could hear the countdown from the TV in the other room, as they held each other’s gaze. Together, they counted down the last ten seconds, moving closer in the tub with the hot, bubbly water sloshing around them. Their kiss was intense and long, only pulling back when they were both breathless, eyes sparkling.

“Happy New Year, Bas.” Kurt said softly, holding up his glass to toast.

“Happy New Year, _Mon petit Chou._ ” Sebastian smirked back, clinking his glass against Kurt’s before taking a long sip.

Kurt just shook his head, loving that Sebastian would always be Sebastian. His gorgeous, smart-assed boyfriend. 

After finishing off their glasses of champagne, Sebastian refilled them and encouraged Kurt to lie back against his chest. It was very relaxing, sitting together in the hot water while they sipped the cool wine. 

“So, any big plans for the New Year?” Sebastian said softly, rubbing a hand back and forth along Kurt’s soapy chest 

Kurt rested his head back against Sebastian’s shoulder, thinking. “Well, NYADA…. So singing and dancing my ass off for most of the year. Working at Vogue.com in the summer, unless some other opportunity comes along. And keeping my hot, amazing boyfriend happy.”

“You listed me third on that list? Thanks a lot!” Sebastian joked, setting his empty glass down to wrap his arms around Kurt. 

Kurt put down his empty glass too. “Well, you know I’d be with you 24/7 if I could, but that won’t get me a degree or pay the bills.” 

Sebastian chuckled. “Ahhhh, so practical.” 

“What’s your plans for this year?” Kurt countered.

Tilting his head back against the edge of the bathtub, Sebastian took a moment to really think about it. “Well, I did follow my wise older sister’s advise and sign up for a literature class… so that will be interesting to see how it goes. Maybe I’ll be so affected by it I’ll drop out of school by the end of the term, and run off with your magnetic poetry set. Live up on a mountain and grow a long beard as I write dirty limericks.”

Kurt chuckled at the image. “Yeah, that’s always a risk when people take lit classes. They make you sign a waiver on the first day.” 

“And I start therapy in a week…. And that is a bit scary.” Sebastian said softly.

Wrapping his arms over Sebastian’s in the hot water, Kurt tried to comfort him. “I’m here for you, Bas. Anything you want to talk about. I just want to keep the communication flowing between us.” 

“And last, but not least, is keeping my amazing, hot boyfriend happy.” Sebastian said, running his hands up along Kurt’s legs. 

Kurt shifted against him, widening his legs as Sebastian’s hands slid along his inner thighs. Even after all these months, he responded quickly to his touch. 

\----

It was still dark when Kurt woke up, feeling a bit disoriented for a minute. Looking over, he saw that it was after 3 am, and looked over at Sebastian. He was lying on his side, but Kurt could see the tension in his body. Scooting closer, Kurt cuddled against his back, running a hand down his arm. 

“Anxiety is getting to you, isn’t it?” Kurt said, threading his fingers through Sebastian’s. 

Sebastian only sighed deeply in response, his expression still troubled. 

Rolling Sebastian onto his back, Kurt straddled his hips, looking down into his face. He leaned down and gave him a light kiss. “I think I saw that the sofa in the other room folds out. Let’s go get it set up for you.”

Sebastian sighed again. “I thought I’d be tired enough to be able to sleep beside you for the night. But here I am, trying not wake you up, my thoughts whirling around and around.”

“Really? What kind of thoughts?” Kurt asked, wanting to take away all his worries.

“Just stupid stuff.” Sebastian sighed, rolling off to the side of the bed, sitting up. Kurt stood, and took Sebastian’s hand, walking into the living room of their suite. Together, they set up the sofa bed, and Sebastian got in. His body was already a little less tense. Kurt leaned down, giving him a thorough kiss, trying to express how much he cared for this man with that simple touch. 

And then he went back to the other bedroom, getting into the huge king sized bed alone. He hoped Sebastian would join him there in the morning, once he had woken up. They had the room until noon…. Lots of time for the morning cuddling they both loved.

\----  
Disclaimer: I own nothing.

A/N: 

-The Plaza Hotel opened in 1907 at Fifth Avenue and Central Park South. It has been featured in movies like 'The Way We Were', 'The Great Gatsby', 'Funny Girl' and the TV show 'Sex and the City'. Sebastian splurged on one of the Edwardian Suites, about 900 sq feet, and $900+ a night. Cool pictures [here.](http://www.theplazany.com/rooms-and-suites/the-edwardian-two-bedroom-suite/) The Palm Court restaurant is known for it's high teas and specialty cocktails. More Info [here.](http://www.fairmont.com/the-plaza-new-york/dining/the-palm-court/)

-'The Book of Mormon' opened on Broadway on 2011 and won 9 Tony Awards, including Best Musical. 'South Park' creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone wrote it with lyricist Robert Lopez (from 'Avenue Q' and 'Frozen'). Trailer [here.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k4-eWO1xu3I)

-New Year's Eve has been celebrated at Times Square since 1904, when the first subway line opened. The new headquarters for The New York Times had relocated there and the square was renamed Times Square to honour this. The party had over 200,000 people and lavish fireworks. A few years later, the fireworks were banned, so a massive 700 pound illuminated iron and wood ball was lowered to signal the start of 1908. Now, people start collecting in the square at 3 pm on New Year's Eve to watch the show and the famous ball drop, with over a million people on the streets and a billion TV viewers worldwide each year.  
History here [here.](https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2014/12/29/times-square-ball-tradition-new-years-eve/19847831/)

-Rockefeller Centre - A collection of buildings, the most famous being 30 Rockefeller, headquarters to NBC. There is an outdoor skating rink (1936) with a bronze statue of Prometheus, and a real Christmas Tree (usually a Norway Spruce, from 70-100 feet tall) has been set up every year since 1933. It has 45,000 LED lights and a 550 pound, 9.5 foot wide star tops it.  
Cool time lapse video (2.5 min) of tree being set up and lit [here.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oPO2QFL4rV0)

-Bath + Bubbles:  



	6. Chapter 6

Juggling grocery bags, Kurt fumbled with the lock on his apartment door. He was shocked when the lock clicked and the door opened. 

"Matt." His eyes widened as he took in his roommate's haggard appearance before he turned and went to the sofa, pulling a blanket around his body. 

Carrying his groceries to the kitchen, Kurt unpacked, sending quick glances to the man watching TV. His hair was a mess, his clothing old, sloppy pajamas, his face unshaven. 

Making tea, Kurt carried two mugs over and passed one to Matt, who accepted it gratefully. Sitting beside him, Kurt looked over, wondering how to get him talking. 

"So, how did things go over the holidays?" Kurt vaguely remembered Matt mentioning in passing that he was going back to Maryland to be with family. It was now the weekend before school started up again.

Matt took a long sip of his tea. "Started alright, normal...but Janine and I had a big fight after New Year's." He looked downright miserable. 

Kurt had figured it was something like that, or Matt would be over at her place. He was rarely in the apartment unless they were fighting or she had visitors in town. Kurt didn't know why they didn't just move in together, but since Matt paid half the rent and was hardly there, Kurt wasn't questioning it too hard.

"Have you tried to talk with her?" Kurt asked hopefully. Usually their fights didn't last that long. 

Matt nodded, running a hand through his short, dark hair. "She thinks I was being a little too friendly with one of her friends at a party. Truth is, I'd had a bit too much to drink and her friend was flirting back just as hard. Really amazing chemistry."

Kurt understood. It was hard to resist those pangs of attraction with people who weren't your partner. It had happened when he first met Sebastian. Chemistry was there from the moment they had shaken hands, and they had expressed it with their sharp banter. Kurt hadn't been kidding when he'd told Sebastian he was a guilty fantasy back then.

"Did you do anything about it...?" Kurt asked delicately, wanting to judge how much Matt had fucked up. 

Matt had a guilty look before he dropped his gaze. "We were dancing and a slow song came on. She pulled me close and it was a bit too close. Friends noticed, and Janine felt embarrassed in front of them on top of everything." His dark brown eyes caught Kurt's. 

"You have to admit it to her. Say you were attracted, but should have kept your distance. Apologize like crazy." Kurt shrugged. It didn't sound that serious, so he patted Matt's knee before getting up to make some dinner. They would probably work things out soon.

\---

It felt a bit strange being in Sebastian’s bed after getting into the habit of hanging out together at Kurt’s place for the last couple months. Sebastian had no objection when Kurt had asked if they could meet up at his place instead of Kurt’s. Matt had not fixed things with his girlfriend yet, and was mooning around on the sofa. Not exactly a cheerful scene. 

Being at Sebastian’s brought up the memories of their other times there together. That wonderful first make out session after going to Coney Island, of leisurely worshipping Sebastian with hundreds of kisses, sharing hot breaths, cooling down wrapped in each other's arms as they chuckled. But also the memories of Sebastian being hurt and asking Kurt to leave. Of being so disconnected afterwards.

They settled into their evening routine of cooking dinner, cleaning up, studying with increasing amounts of subtle flirting and shared glances, until they were hungrily undressing each other and stumbling to the bedroom. 

Kurt was now sprawled over Sebastian's chest, trying to relearn how to breathe. In bed, things were still so amazing, hot, at least on his side. Which raised an old question that had been on his mind for ages. Kurt glanced up at Sebastian's relaxed face. "Do you ever want...more variety?" 

Sebastian's eyebrows rose. "Are you asking because you do, or because you think I do?" 

Kurt tilted his face to nuzzle against Sebastian's warm skin, taking a little nip. "You are enough for me. But I sometimes worry about you getting bored..."

"Hmmm..." Sebastian reached down to run a hand through Kurt's mussed hair. "I don't regret my past, but now I feel like 'Been there, Done that'. I'm more excited about what we have going here. This is new, exciting and a bit scary for me. We started hooking up back in September, and here we are still in January together."

Kurt practically purred in contentment when Sebastian gathered him in his long arms, pulling him into a tight hug. 

Pressing kisses up Kurt's neck and then along his jawline, Sebastian let his deeper feelings show in the caring caresses. "Besides our sex being hot, there is our deeper connection that makes it all so much better, more intense. When I hear you call out my name, your voice all hoarse with need, so desperate... Fuck, Kurt. That alone can send me over the edge."

Kurt met Sebastian's green gaze, and could feel the pang of arousal, again. He always felt wanted, attractive, around Sebastian. And Sebastian's response to him was just as hot. 

Kissing down Sebastian's chest, Kurt smiled against his skin as he felt Sebastian shifting beneath him, arching his body. Sometimes, it was exciting to just concentrate on giving him pleasure, watching Sebastian coming apart under his touch. 

\---

"You are so incredible." Kurt kissed Sebastian slowly, cuddling against him. 

Sebastian's breathing was going back to normal. "Me? After what you just did to me? Shit...." 

Smiling in contentment, Kurt pulled up the bed covers around them. 

"Ah....Kurt..." Sebastian said softly, shifting upwards on the bed. "You look comfy here. I guess I'll move to the sofa."

Kurt's sleepy eyes widened in confusion. _Oh right. This was Sebastian's bed, Sebastian's place._ He was used to just falling asleep after sex, as Sebastian dressed and went home. But he couldn’t do that here. 

"No, no...I'll get up." Kurt patted Sebastian's hip, sitting up as he reached for his clothes to dress. 

The bed shifted behind him, Sebastian ran his hands along Kurt's shoulders. "I'm sorry, Kurt. Would it be weird if I gave you money for a taxi? The subway takes longer."

Kurt was glad he was facing away. Having Sebastian offer money, as he was urging Kurt out of his bed...it made him feel...dirty. He pushed the feeling away, knowing Sebastian didn’t mean it that like that.

Turning his upper body, Kurt gave Sebastian a tender kiss, his tense expression easing by the end of it. "It's OK Sebastian. Relax back in your bed, so I can kiss you goodbye properly."

Once dressed, Kurt made his face pleasant as he tucked the covers around his boyfriend and leaned down to give him a thorough kiss, letting all his emotions of caring come through. Sebastian's hand cupped Kurt's head, softly. By the time Kurt lifted his head, he was happy to see his boyfriends eyes were happy and glowing.

As he made his way to the subway, Kurt sighed. It was not fun to leave a warm bed and the arms of his boyfriend after great sex like that. He just wanted to cuddle and fall asleep together. Wake up together. They had exchanged keys in December, and if this was a normal relationship, they would probably be sleeping over at each other's places most of the time by this stage of their relationship.

But with Sebastian’s sleeping issue, they were stuck just having a few hours in the evening together. Dinner, hanging out, sex and going home. It kind of kept the relationship from progressing to the next stage. And Kurt craved that. Wanted more time together. More intimacy. Wanted the relationship to grow, instead of feeling stunted.

Sebastian's problem was one he felt bad about enough already. Kurt had seen how he had beat himself up over it New Year's Day. They had cuddled in bed in the morning, ordering a lavish room service breakfast, eating in bed. Sebastian had put on a good face, but it broke Kurt's heart a little as he saw behind the facade. 

Well, this was being adults in a relationship. Nobody was perfect, and Sebastian was too amazing to let this small problem be an issue. Maybe Sebastian's therapy would help him get over this, but maybe it would take a long, long time, or maybe never go away. And Kurt had to accept that and work with it. Not let Sebastian feel bad about it. 

There was a 'cost of admission' for every relationship. Things you had to realize that weren't perfect about them and you couldn't change. And you had to accept them or discontinue the relationship. 

As Kurt rode the empty subway home that cold January night, he wondered if he could accept this or not. Would a silly thing like not sleeping in the same bed break them up?

Kurt was practically falling asleep in the train, and pushed to stay awake. He cringed at the thought of getting up in only five hours with his heavy day tomorrow. On weeknights, he should probably leave Sebastian's by 10pm so he could get to sleep at a good hour. That would make their time together even shorter. But at least they had the weekends. 

_OK, Hummel. Suck it up, Princess. You are going to be Sebastian's amazing, supportive boyfriend. You are going to hang out at his place and not make an issue out of leaving to go home. You will ask him about therapy and be there for him. Keep things fun, sexy, intimate._

Kurt's pep talk to himself helped as he walked tiredly from the subway to his apartment. But inside he still had lingering worries.

==  
Disclaimer: I own nothing.


	7. Chapter 7

Sebastian still looked sleepy when Kurt crawled into bed with him, stripped down to his briefs. 

"Morning, handsome." Kurt smiled as he kissed his boyfriend and cuddled close. They both had no plans today, and Kurt was going to make the most of it. 

Sebastian grinned, hugging Kurt close. He pulled the covers up around his shoulders. "Your hair and face feel cold from being outside. Let's get you warmed up." 

Pushing Kurt onto his back, Sebastian was very thorough in exploring his cool skin, placing soft kisses everywhere until Kurt was feeling flushed and even more aroused. He'd woken up hard, and the whole subway ride he'd imagined what they would be doing together, thankful his winter coat was long enough to hide his erection. 

"Want you so, so bad, Bas." Kurt arched his back, pulling his boyfriend down over him. Needing to feel his weight, feel him over him, inside him. Everywhere. 

Sebastian moaned, quickly matching Kurt's level of desire. Gone were the tender slow touches, and he pushed Kurt into the position he wanted. Kurt was practically keening as Sebastian prepped him, rocking onto his fingers. "Fuck, you are hot for this. Hot for me."

"Oh Baby...please...need you..." Kurt knew he was babbling, his hands urging Sebastian on. It had been six days since they'd had sex last.

\---  
"Wow. I'm so fucking glad you have my key. Please come over and crawl into my bed any morning. Every morning. Shit." Sebastian's arm was over his eyes, as he laid back against the pillows, panting. 

Smiling, Kurt shifted off of Sebastian and reached for some tissues to clean them up. Times like this he was thankful for all the dance rehearsals, making him so flexible and his legs strong. Very able to ride his boyfriend hard into the mattress, keeping up a fast, intense pace that had Sebastian praising him over and over for. 

Stretching out beside Sebastian, Kurt rolled his shoulders and pointed his toes. He felt more relaxed now, happy. That built up sexual tension was gone. That itch scratched, for now anyways.

\---  
Kurt awoke to light kisses, and smiled as he pushed his fingers into Sebastian's thick hair, pulling him closer for deeper kisses. 

"None of that now..." Sebastian chuckled, pulling Kurt's hands away. "Time for some brunch." 

Kurt opened his eyes and sat up, sniffing the delicious aromas wafting from the kitchen. "Mmm... Food..." Grabbing his underwear and a tee, he slipped them on as he got out of bed. He hadn't realized how hungry he was until he smelt the food.

The little table was already set and Sebastian moved over to the stove, dishing out their plates "Pour us some coffees and sit down. The rest is ready."

With the first bites, Kurt was groaning in appreciation. The omelet was full of veggies and feta cheese. "So good, Bas." 

Sebastian preened under the compliment, sipping his coffee and taking a bite of toast. "I know you had planned for us to cook together, but you looked like you needed some sleep."

Glancing over at the wall clock, Kurt's fork froze in mid air on its path to his mouth. "You let me sleep for three hours?" Kurt groaned. He shook his head, and continued to eat the meal.

Three hours of their day together gone. Kurt sighed, rethinking his plans for the day. But at least he didn't feel as tired. 

Studying after the meal, Kurt kept trying to joke around with Sebastian, but Sebastian was concentrating hard on his books. Sighing internally again, Kurt turned back to his work. He had hoped to fool around again with Sebastian in the afternoon, but it didn't happen. 

The day wasn't shaping up like Kurt imagined at all. 

Feeling a little hungry later on, Kurt got up and looked in Sebastian's fridge. "Are we going to cook something for dinner or order in?"

Stretching his arms over his head, Sebastian sighed. "I'm not really in the mood to cook, so we could order in."

Kurt could see some ingredients for a meal in the fridge. "I can cook, if you want."

Shrugging, Sebastian bent down to his books again. "Ok, suit yourself."

 _Wow! That sounded really enthusiastic...not._ Kurt took out the food for a salad and a simple pasta dish. Normally, they would cook together, the music cranked, singing along and rubbing against each other flirtatiously. Even at home, Kurt usually put the music on when cooking on his own. But he didn't want to disturb Sebastian's work. 

Chopping up the ingredients, Kurt got the water boiling and set the table. Pretty soon, the food was ready. 

Walking over to Sebastian, he kissed the back of his neck. "Come eat." 

Sebastian seemed to drag himself out of his school mindset, seeing Kurt there, smiling. "Oh, OK. Sorry, I'm not the best company today, am I?"

Dishing out the meal, Kurt shrugged. "It's OK." He wasn't disagreeing with Sebastian's statement. But obviously Sebastian had some pressing work to get done. Kurt had planned to stay until 9 or 10pm, watching a movie and cuddling together, and more sex hopefully. But maybe he should just leave after washing the dishes. Sebastian wasn't in the mood for this.

"Mmmm... What's in this pasta?" Sebastian dug in hungrily, moaning in contentment with each bite. 

"Chicken breast, lemon juice and zest, garlic, Dijon, cilantro, and green beans." It was a light meal he used to make for his Dad. "So, it looks like your course load is intense this term."

Sebastian nodded as he rubbed the back of his neck. "I've been practically living at the library lately. And you seem just as bad."

"Yeah, so many bloody rehearsals on top of my classes. It's exhausting." Kurt sighed, shoulders slumping a little.

Sebastian reached across the table, taking Kurt's hand. "It's going to be hard to see each other as much as we'd like to, maybe until the end of the term." 

_Crap._ Kurt thought. Why did everything have to be so hard? It wasn’t Sebastian’s fault, but he still felt really disappointed that he couldn’t focus on Kurt for today. Kurt had rearranged his schedule to have the whole day free with him.

===

"Mmmmm this latte is totally what I needed." Kurt wrapped both hands around the mug, inhaling the coffee scent happily. 

Rachel grinned at her friend over her green tea. "Yeah, it's been quite the cold snap. So, why are you already looking so stressed out? We're only a few weeks into the semester."

Sighing, Kurt pondered how to sum up the past few weeks. "Well, my roommate and his girlfriend had a fight during the holidays, and now he's home ALL THE TIME."

"Oh, really? Is he a bad roommate?" Rachel asked.

"Not really. I've hardly seen him for months, since he was always at her place, and I just got used to having the place to myself." Kurt shrugged.

Rachel smirked. "So, is it putting a crimp in your wild sex life?"

"You're one to talk! I've heard you hit a few high notes when Brody was staying with us." Kurt laughed when Rachel blushed a little and looked down. "Well, Matt is often on the sofa watching TV, all depressed over his girlfriend, so it's not exactly fun to have Sebastian over with that. And it's a pain coming home from Sebastian's late on weeknights." As a result, they weren't seeing each other as much. Kurt was only going over to Sebastian's once or twice a week.

Rachel gave Kurt a steady look, and he could tell she wanted to ask something. He nodded, encouraging her. 

"Aren't you a little worried about leaving him on his own more? I like you two as a couple, but you know he used to ...fairly often." Rachel was cute in how she phrased it.

Kurt chuckled. "Well, his school schedule is pretty demanding too. And I have to trust him." Kurt paused, thinking about it. "But I have worried a bit in keeping up with his needs that way... In frequency and being adventurous enough. And some of the things we've done..." Kurt just shook his head, imaging telling Rachel about pretending to be strangers at Scandals and their washroom hook-up. There was no way... 

Rachel nudged his arm, chuckling. "Oh really? Do tell...my sex life is flat lining lately."

"Well, Dan Savage is always giving the sex advice that you need to be GGG with your partner. You know, good, giving and game. So, I try to push my old insecurities and squeamishness away and just try stuff I wouldn't normally do. And it's been so amazing. So hot. I can't tell you." Kurt blushed a bit, the image of Sebastian half-undressed in his old Dalton school uniform, the striped tie securing his hands to the headboard flashing in his mind. They had to revisit that sometime.

She chuckled, seeing Kurt's slight blush. "I miss having a class or two with you." Rachel reached over to squeeze Kurt's arm. Their schedules were very different this term. 

Kurt nodded in agreement. "Yeah, and having three performance-centered courses is exhausting! I'm constantly having rehearsals with other students."

"And you are taking 'Expressive Performance', right? I took it last term and that was the worst." Rachel looked sympathetic. 

Rolling his eyes, Kurt leaned forward to talk in a quieter tone. "And guess who's in that class with me? Blaine!"

Rachel's big dark eyes widened. "How is it? Is he acting weird? Trying to get back together?"

Kurt tilted his head to the side, considering. "Well, mostly he's just being friendly and seems normal, which is a relief. He's not mooning over me or anything." He scrunched up his lips. "But I haven't mentioned it to Sebastian."

"Kurt! Why not?"

Kurt looked down, thinking. "Well, it's been a bit of a sore spot between us, and I don't want to waste the little time we have together fighting or dealing with it. It's only one class, and he's just acting like a friend." 

Gathering up her things, Rachel shook her head. "Well, I’m on the record for saying you should tell him, Kurt.” She gave him a steady look until Kurt nodded, and kissed his cheek before leaving for her next class.

 

=====

"So, you think Kate will like it?" Bianca asked. 

Sebastian grinned, even though she couldn't see it over the phone. "A birthday weekend, with me, in New York? She'll love it."

"I wish I could come too, but this case I'm working on is too crazy right now." She sighed, sounding frazzled. 

Sebastian walked over to the fridge, looking inside for something to drink. "Maybe we'll print off a life-sized picture of your head and have it in all our selfies, all over the city."

She chuckled, and Sebastian missed being around her. He kept trying to lure her to move to NYC, but she enjoyed Philadelphia. 

"Are you sure it's not too much for you? It sounds like your course load is hard this term, and you have therapy and Kurt too." 

Taking out a beer, Sebastian sauntered to the couch to sprawl out. "I'll be fine, Mom." His tone was the sarcastic one he used when he wanted to bug her about being too much of a worrier. But he loved her attention. 

"Things still good with Kurt?" 

Sebastian paused, taking a long sip of his beer. 

Bianca sighed. "Sebastian, talk to me. Maybe I can help."

Letting out a deep breath, Sebastian tried to keep his tone neutral. "It's changed since New Years and I don't know why. It's really scaring me."

"Fuck. Now I really wish I was coming out and could see the two of you together. Or I could kidnap Kurt and get him to tell me what's going on." Bianca fretted. "You two seemed so close at Christmas."

"I know." Sebastian rubbed a hand over his forehead, feeling the tension there. Both being so busy didn't help things. "I fucked up our New Year’s."

Bianca sighed. "Really? I know you were planning something special."

"It went great, until Kurt woke up and realized his fucked up boyfriend can't sleep. Not sexy to see that." Kurt hadn't made a face or anything, but Sebastian looked for signs or pity or irritation. Even lately, cuddled together in Sebastian's bed after sex, there was an awkward moment when Sebastian feared Kurt would fall asleep. Would he have to sleep on the couch? Wake Kurt up and kick him out of his bed? And Sebastian's heart sank every time.

"You've talked to your therapist about it, right?" Bianca asked. 

Sebastian sighed. "Yeah." The therapy was going good so far, in that they had a good rapport and Sebastian felt comfortable talking about his issues. But so far, he hadn't seen big changes as a result. "She said that a traumatic event like that at a sensitive age when I didn't have many strong relationships would have deep impact. That she was surprised I didn't have more symptoms. There is an anti-anxiety medication I could take, but she is trying other therapy types first."

Bianca made a hum of acknowledgement, and Sebastian knew she was turning the problem over in her smart mind, looking for an easy solution when there really wasn't one. "Well, I really can't imagine Kurt pulling away from you just because of that. He's pretty understanding and he's been through hard times himself. Are there other things going on?"

"Just that we both are really busy in school and can't hang out as much as we did before. I guess I can make an effort to schedule some Skype breaks with him so at least we can touch base with each other on busy days." He sighed, running his hands through his hair. "But when we are together, there are times I feel like he's pulling away, shutting me out maybe..."

"You need to discuss it with him, Sebastian. Don't let this get bigger than it is."

Sebastian looked up, suddenly feeling so low. "Maybe the honeymoon period is over, Bianca. Maybe he's realizing that he likes me but that's it. The novelty has worn off and he's going back to his old life." Pulling his feet up onto the sofa, he wrapped his arms around his knees tight. 

"No. Definitely no, Sebastian. I could see he really, really has deep feelings for you." Bianca really wanted to hug Sebastian. "Do you...love him?"

Feelings washed over Sebastian and he gasped, blinking at the tears threatening to overflow from his eyes. "Um...maybe...I don't know..." Sebastian sighed. "How do I know?"

Bianca echoed Sebastian's sigh. "It's one of those things that you'll just know. Hard to describe how it happens."

“Well, things aren’t going as smoothly, and I miss how we were before. I’m scared I’m fucking things up, not knowing how to do long term relationships. Maybe there is something I should be doing, and I’m not. I don’t fucking know.” Sebastian closed his eyes tight, taking some deep breaths to keep from losing it.

“Oh honey. Just talk with him, be open. You can say what you just said to me to him, say that you are scared and need to know if there is something wrong. Make the effort to be around for him, supporting him.” Bianca urged.

Sebastian nodded. “OK, Bianca. Thanks for talking with me about this. Love you.”

“Love you so much, Sebby.” Bianca’s teasing tone was clear, as she reverted to his childhood nickname.

\---  
Disclaimer: I own nothing.


	8. Chapter 8

_“Because it takes a lot of effort to stay away from you._  
_And it takes more than a lifetime to prove that I'll be true.”_ Kurt sang, with a little shoulder shimmy.

 _“But it takes somebody special to make me say I do.”_ Blaine sang back, his eyes glinting.

 _“And baby, you've got what it takes.”_ They sang together, harmonizing well.

Kurt gave him a cheeky smirk. _“C'mon say that again, honey.”_

And one last time, their voices blended. _“Baby, You've got what it takes.”_

Kurt smiled over at Blaine as their classmates applauded their duet. 

“Good job, boys. You can take your seat.” Their instructor, Marie St. Claire, strode to the front of the room. “OK, we should be ready for the performance in two weeks. Everyone please wear blue jeans and black shirts of some type.” She dismissed the class, and Kurt collected his books, putting them into his messenger bag. 

“Kurt, should we schedule some rehearsal time later this week? We need to practice the dance moves to make them smoother, more synchronized. I want to get it to the level that we had for _‘Let It Snow’.”_ Blaine pulled out his phone, opening up his calendar.

Sighing, Kurt looked at his schedule as well. “OK.” The singing part was strong, but their dancing did need more work to look polished. “How about Saturday afternoon?” 

Singing and dancing with Blaine had been one of the easier projects in his classes lately. The assignment had been to sing a duet, showing love, for the performance before Valentine's Day. Looking around the room, Kurt saw some straight guys and women who didn't seem very friendly. When Blaine had suggested they pair up, Kurt had been relieved. He knew Blaine, knew they could perform well together and that was one less drama to handle. And Blaine had only been friendly in working together so far.

“I’m heading out of town for the weekend. How about Thursday night or Monday afternoon?” Blaine bit his lip.

 _Shit._ He was supposed to go out with Sebastian and Kate on Thursday, and Monday wouldn’t work. He would have to move things around with Sebastian. “OK. Thursday night. I’ll book a rehearsal studio for us.” Kurt sighed. They worked out the times and Blaine left, rushing off to his next class. 

\---

Arms wrapped around Kurt’s waist from behind and a warm mouth kissed against the back of his neck. Smiling, Kurt turned his head to meet Sebastian’s kiss. _Damn, he was good at that._

“I’m almost done this, if you want to get out some bowls.” Kurt smiled at his boyfriend. He had encouraged Sebastian continue studying while he cooked dinner, hoping it would make him more available after the meal for some quality couple time. It seemed like ages since they had cooked together.

Sebastian was dressed in straight leg jeans and a light grey sweatshirt, both of them fitted enough to draw Kurt’s eyes as he opened the cupboard door and pulled out the dishes. He brought them over to the stove, and Kurt dished out the brown rice and stir-fry into the large bowls. 

Carrying them over to the little bistro table, Sebastian set them down. “This smells good. I’m so fucking hungry.” Sitting down, he waiting until Kurt joined him before digging in. 

Kurt grinned as Sebastian made happy appreciative noises. “So, I had something come up for Thursday night that I can’t move. Can we change our dinner to another night?” 

Sebastian’s eyes lifted to Kurt’s, and he nodded. “Well, Kate will be here for a few nights. I think Friday would work.” 

Nodding, Kurt grabbed his phone to check his schedule and changed the entry. He was looking forward to seeing Kate again. 

“So, is it another group rehearsal?” Sebastian asked, finishing the last bite of his stir-fry. 

Kurt dropped his eyes, collecting their bowls and carrying them over to put them into the sink. “Yeah, just something for that one performance class.” He didn’t turn around as he said it, just running the water to rinse the dishes off.

Again, Sebastian stood behind him, pulling him into a hug. “So, when is the performance for this class? I’d like to see what you are working on.” 

_Fuck_. Kurt hadn’t thought of that. He had avoided telling Sebastian that Blaine was in the class, and also that they were performing a song together. It meant nothing, but Blaine was such a sensitive topic between them. To admit it now would make it seem like more than it was.

“You know, could you maybe come to the performance of my singing class instead? I feel more comfortable with that piece than this one.” Kurt smiled back at Sebastian, hoping his tone and his smile seemed natural, when inside his heart was beating hard. 

Taking the washed dishes, Sebastian dried them and put them back into the cupboard. He shrugged a shoulder. “OK, if that’s what you want.” 

They settled on the sofa, cuddling together. “How did your therapy session go?” Kurt took Sebastian’s hand, stroking a thumb back and forth. Sebastian had been going to therapy for about four weeks now.

Looking up, Sebastian seemed to be searching for the right words. “Well, I wouldn’t exactly call it a fun time. But it’s making me look at my past with a new perspective.”

Wrapping his arms around him, Kurt leaned his head against his shoulder. “Really? Like what?” 

Sebastian bit his lip, thinking. “I was fifteen, and they dumped me in a foreign country with a woman who was practically a stranger. My therapist mentioned the word ‘abandonment’… and it was ringing around and around my head since then. Who would do that to their kid?” 

Nodding, Kurt thought it was pretty extreme to dump your kid in another country if they acted up.

“So, do you feel little better from being able to discuss it?” Kurt felt helpless, knowing there was nothing he could do but listen and support Sebastian as he went through this. 

“Well, it’s good to hear from an outside third party that my parents’ actions were out of line. The therapist mentioned that eventually she might get my parents to Skype in for some sessions, without me there at first, and then all together. But I’m not holding my breath for an apology from them or anything.” Sebastian sighed. 

Kurt nodded. “I think having everyone talk it out will help.” Kurt searched for another topic, wanting to get to talk about something more cheerful. “So, how it your novel class going?”

Chuckling, Sebastian stretched, and Kurt could feel the tension draining from him a little. “It’s great, but the current book we are discussing is probably not the best, considering my state of mind lately.”

“Really? What book?” Kurt was glad to see the humor in Sebastian’s eyes. 

_“’The Brothers Karamazov’._ A Russian family drama by Dostoevsky, that results in a son killing his father.” Sebastian chuckled, looking over at Kurt.

Kurt grabbed the remote control and turned on the TV. “OK, we are going to watch a couple episodes of a good sit-com. Anything for some cheerful distraction.” 

They cuddled together, putting on some ‘Fawlty Towers’, chuckling as they watched John Cleese insulting his staff and guests in a seaside English hotel. 

\---  
Sebastian was almost asleep when Kurt got up from the sofa, and started wrapping the blanket around him.

 _“Bonne nuit, mon petit chou.”_ Kurt smirked slightly at Sebastian’s whisper, giving him a quick kiss, and was soon leaving the apartment to go home. 

Rolling onto his back, Sebastian was cursing his lack of relationship experience. He couldn’t really tell what was different, what was wrong lately. But there was something, and it seemed to be getting worse instead of going away on it’s own. 

Thinking back on the last few weeks, Sebastian turned everything over in his mind. The trip to Ohio seemed to have gone good, all the visits with their family and friends. Kurt and Kate got along well, and Kurt’s parents seemed to like Sebastian, much to his relief. The only somewhat awkward thing was the karaoke party, when Blaine had arrived. But even though Blaine seemed to be singing ‘When I Was Your Man’ to Kurt, Sebastian had been holding Kurt the whole time, and knew Kurt was snoozing during that part of the party. They had spent the rest of the holiday together, driving back to Columbus and flying home a couple days later, closer than ever.

But since then, Kurt seemed to be a little distant. Even tonight, he didn’t seem as open as they were talking about his classes and it seemed odd that he didn’t want Sebastian coming to a performance. Was he ashamed to Sebastian? Probably not, if he was OK with him coming to a performance for another class. But it still seemed strange.

Then again, maybe Kurt was seeing the depth of Sebastian’s problems, and was pulling back. Sebastian still felt bad about how their New Year’s Eve had gone. He had wanted to have a perfect, romantic night for the two of them, and it had gone so well… until he tried to sleep and just couldn’t. He had hoped the hot bath, the alcohol and sex would make him sleepy enough to fall asleep beside Kurt, but he had laid there. And then for Kurt to wake up and see him like that, the expression on his face as he helped set up the sofa bed. There was kind of a careful neutrality to it, like Kurt was trying not to show how much the situation bothered him. 

And now, he was going to therapy, and it was good, but Sebastian noticed he was moodier since it had started. It probably wasn’t exactly fun to be around him half the time lately. Kurt was being a supportive boyfriend, but how long before he got tired of that? And what if even after months of therapy, nothing was really different? What if Sebastian still couldn’t sleep with his boyfriend for the whole night like a normal person could? 

And tonight, Kurt had come over and they had studied together, then Kurt made dinner and they cuddled and talked afterwards a bit. They didn't make out or have sex. And Kurt had asked Sebastian about things in his life, but hadn't really talked about his own. Sebastian felt bad for not doing more, for not being a better boyfriend. 

Maybe he was just too much of a mess to be in a relationship. Kurt deserved better than a fuck-up like he was.

\---  
Disclaimer: I own nothing.

A/N:  
-"Baby, You've Got What It Takes" - Dinah Washington/Brook Benton 1960. (Covered by Michael Buble/Sharon Jones & The Dap Kings 2009)

I think there will about 12 chapters in total. 


	9. Chapter 9

Blaine’s hand grasped Kurt’s as they took a second bow, the small audience cheering enthusiastically. The NYADA community was small, and students usually supported each other by attending each other’s performances, since most students had no family nearby.

Kurt squeezed Blaine’s hand back, pleased that their performance had gone over well. Sometimes it was nice having a familiar person to work with, and they had sung and danced together so often in the past. They had easily fallen into old patterns. 

Blaine pulled him off the stage, where some classmates were getting ready for their turn. Passing him a water bottle, Kurt opened his, guzzling down the cool water. He started unbuttoning his black dress shirt, wanting to strip down to his tee, before heading back out to sit in the audience. 

The door to the backstage area opened, and Sebastian stepped into the room. He was dressed nicely, and carried a small wrapped bouquet of three lavender roses. Stepping forward, he shoved the roses into Kurt’s hands, his expression blank and his eyes distant, before spinning and slipping back out of the door. 

Kurt stood there in shock, the flowers he was clutching the only tangible proof that Sebastian had been there. He looked over at Blaine, and he looked confused. But he didn’t know that Kurt hadn’t told Sebastian about having a class together, that he’d hid that fact away. And it looked far worse that Sebastian had found out on his own.

Finally shaking himself out of it, Kurt dropped the flowers, lurched forward to yank the door open and run down the hallway. Sebastian was already almost at the exit, his long legs eating up the distance. 

“Sebastian, please wait…” Kurt called loudly, running as hard as he could after his boyfriend.

Pushing open the door, Sebastian half-turned in response to Kurt’s call but still turned away to leave. _Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck…_ Kurt’s throat was tight as he exited the building, looking around for Sebastian and running to grab his arm.

“Please, please…. Stop a second…. I can explain, Bas…” Kurt looked up at his face, which Sebastian had turned away, and he was tugging his arm away from Kurt.

Yanking his arm hard, Sebastian staggered away a few steps, before stopping and turning back to face Kurt. “What are you going to tell me, Kurt? That, oh yeah, you are in a class with Blaine Fucking Anderson? And, by the way, you are singing a fucking love duet together? Well, you are a little late.” His voice was a hurt growl, his expression tight with emotion. 

“I know! I screwed up. I’m so, so sorry…” Kurt said back, reaching out his hands, wanting to maybe settle Sebastian down somehow. 

Sebastian scoffed, rolling his eyes. “Why would you hide this from me? Are you wanting to be back with Blaine, your perfect little singing partner? Are you embarrassed of me? Don’t want your classmates to see me? Or is there no point introducing me to everyone when you aren’t planning on continuing things with us?” He threw his hands down, pushing away Kurt’s grasping hands.

Spinning away again, he ran off down the street. Kurt was frozen to the spot, watching him go. He was standing outside in only a thin dress shirt and tee with his jeans, and the below freezing temperatures were now coming to his attention. Shivering, Kurt ran back into the school, gathered up his bags and outerwear and headed home.

\---

Kurt was exhausted. He had phoned and left messages, texted, and emailed Sebastian. Tried to explain and apologize for days. But so far, no response from Sebastian at all. He wasn't sleeping well, and was hardly eating. He did the bare minimum at school before going home to mope. 

Ironically, it was Valentines Day this weekend and they had discussed it a few weeks ago. They had both agreed to not go overboard with overpriced, busy restaurants and flowers, buying into the hype. But it was Sebastian's first Valentines Day with a boyfriend, and Kurt had told him that he wanted to make it special for him. Kurt had planned to make a special dinner and have a romantic night in. He was thinking of a massage by candlelight and lots of slow, teasing sex. 

But it was all out the window now. 

After three days, there was a terse email reply from Sebastian. 

**Kurt -**  
**I know you aren't back with Blaine.**  
**I'm hurt you hid things from me.**  
**I'm confused about a lot of things and need time to think it all over.**  
**Stop contacting me.**  
**Sebastian**

It was crushing, and Kurt spent the weekend in bed, alone, upset. Matt was not around, which for once Kurt missed. It would have been good to have another person to share sad stories with. Either he was back with his girlfriend, or some friend had kidnapped him for the Valentines Day weekend to cheer him up or distract him. Kurt didn't know. They were friendly, but not really friends. 

Rachel was really concerned, her big dark eyes watching Kurt when she saw him at school the next week. After a couple days, she started cornering him as he came out of classes, foisting smoothies on him and standing over him until he finished them. He wasn't hungry, but the cold drinks were easy to sip down and gave him energy to carry on. 

She pushed him to talk, but he just shook his head. What could he say? It didn't look like that stupid incidence at the performance was the issue. It was just the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back. Things between Sebastian and Kurt had been getting worse since New Years...a distance, unspoken things, a lack of intimacy. So intangible that even if he did try to talk to Rachel about it, it would be hard to pin down what went wrong. Less time together, less sharing of their day to day personal lives, just less. Something they had both contributed too. When school pressures had mounted, they had both pulled back, away from the relationship. And the relationship wasn't strong enough yet for that. 

Kurt felt empty. A shell. The outside world barely registered, just a bland grey landscape, muted sounds and colors. He travelled through it, numb. 

Even with Rachel's smoothies and food she pushed on him, Kurt lost weight. He looked paler than ever, his eyes dull. His clothes were drab, just comfortable things he could easily wear. His hair was flat and unstyled.

Ironically, being in an arts school, his moody demeanor brought a deeper resonance to his performances. After that first weekend, Kurt practically lived at the school, choosing to rehearse for hours instead of moping alone at home. His dances were emotional outlets for his pain. He chose songs about loss and had the class crying with him by the end. He couldn't talk about his pain, but it was leaking out every other way. Having that outlet was probably the only thing that kept him functioning. 

He considered going to Sebastian's apartment or stalking him at Columbia. But he knew Sebastian could be sharp and abrasive if he needed to, and Kurt knew he couldn't handle seeing that expression on Sebastian's face. Already, their fight replayed again and again in Kurt's head. 

Against Sebastian's order of no contact, Kurt sent a few small messages. Ten days after Sebastian's email, Kurt couldn't stop himself from sending a short reply. The subject line said simply. _"Please, Bas. I'm sorry and I miss you."_ And the email just begged Sebastian to call so they could talk.

There was no response. 

Another ten days later, Kurt sent a short text.  
**I miss you so much. - K**

Still no response. 

This time, he did go to Sebastian's apartment, with no response to his intercom buzzing from the lobby. 

Kurt walked home slowly. With each step, he realized it was over. Sebastian had tried to have a deeper relationship, but in the end, he wasn't willing to fight for it. To keep it going. Kurt wasn't perfect, but neither was Sebastian. And they both had to be willing, interested, to keep the relationship alive. Both had to care. 

Maybe it was just too hard to try to have a relationship during school. They were both at elite schools, in hard programs. 

Even knowing it was over, Kurt wiped tears from his cheeks as he walked, and hoped Sebastian wasn't scarred by their relationship. Even if things didn't work out with Kurt, he hoped that he would still try to find a good relationship with someone else. Kurt wouldn't want Sebastian to revert to his old hook-up ways. 

When the relationship had been good, it had been so good. Kurt flashed back to hours of cuddling on the sofa, joking around and flirting as they watched shows. The soft caresses. The lingering, tender looks. Hours in bed together, so open and exploring. Getting to know each other's families and friends. 

So much potential. Lost. Gone. Kurt just felt numb with the pain and the loss.

\----  
Disclaimer: I own nothing.


	10. Chapter 10

The stage was set up simply. Just two stools in the darkness, with spotlights illuminating them. When Kurt walked out, followed by Jace, he felt momentarily blinded by the harsh light. But it was good. He couldn’t see anything beyond in the yawning darkness around those spotlights. The world ended a few feet beyond his reach. It suited Kurt fine.

Settling on one stool, he took a deep breath, centering himself. Jace strummed over his acoustic guitar, a fast check that he was still in tune, and nodded to Kurt from the other stool. 

The arrangement was stripped down to the absolute basics, raw and real, the beautiful poetry of the lyrics not needing additional flourish. Kurt’s voice was low in pitch and volume, almost speaking the words more than singing them. And like every performance he’d done since last fall, every word was sung with Sebastian in mind. Music could pierce through his numb shell, and the lyrics carried the pain out of his body, tiny piece by tiny piece. 

The song built in intensity, and Kurt’s voice delivered it well… often closing his eyes as he let the words speak his truth. 

_I've been running through these promises to you,_  
_That I made and I could not keep,_  
_But a man never got a woman back,_  
_Not by begging on his knees,_  
_Or I'd crawl to you baby,_  
_And I'd fall at your feet,_  
_And I'd howl at your beauty,_  
_Like a dog in heat,_  
_And I'd claw at your heart,_  
_And I'd tear at your sheet,_  
_I'd say please, please…._  
_I'm your man._

Quickly wiping away a tear that escaped his eye, Kurt tilted his chin up, blinking fast to keep it together as he continued. His voice got scratchier with emotion, but he was able to go on. 

By the time he sang the ending, the small audience was on their feet, applauding loudly. 

The noise shook Kurt out of his trance, brought him back to the world. He nodded over at Jace, and they stood up together, bowing as the clapping and cheering continued way beyond the norm for a simple student performance. Jace looked very pleased, but Kurt pasted a small, closed-mouth smile on his face to be polite, nodding at the faceless audience in the darkness beyond the spotlights. 

Kurt felt drained when he got into the backroom, and took a long draw from his water bottle. 

Clapping a hand against his shoulder, Jace was beaming. “Kurt, anytime, I mean ANYTIME, you want me to accompany you again, let me know.” He was in his second year, and was well known for busking with his guitar near the campus between classes. Kurt had liked his simple yet effective arrangements. 

“Thanks, Jace. If I can ever give you a hand with a class project, just let me know.” Kurt tried to match his enthusiasm, but he knew his voice and expression were falling flat by the way Jace’s happy expression was faded to an all too familiar look of concern.

“Kurt, if you…” Jace started.

Placing a hand on his arm to stop him, Kurt nodded. “Yeah, thanks.” He quickly grabbed his coat and bag, escaping out into the hallway. If he had one more person give him that concerned expression and offered to help him, he would probably scream. The only person he partially tolerated it from was Rachel, and then in only limited doses.

“Kurt!” Rachel’s projection ability had Kurt freezing as she hurried down the hall to catch him in a tight hug. “This was simply heart-wrenching! So beautiful.” Her huge brown eyes were full of genuine appreciation, and Kurt felt a small twinge of pleasure. She was a good friend, but she had enough artistic integrity to tell Kurt her true opinions of his work. 

Returning her hug, Kurt pulled back. “I didn’t even realize you were in the audience.” 

She shrugged. “There’s been a bit of buzz about you lately. It was actually hard to find a seat in that little theatre.” 

Kurt let out a small huff. “It’s like people rubber-necking to see a car accident, I suppose. Wanting to see if I’ll lose it on stage.” He straightened up, shaking his head. It took a lot to just get out of bed and get to school each day, but he wasn’t going to let his pain be entertainment for his schoolmates. He showered every day, and was favoring his darker sweaters, lots of grey and black, paired with black jeans. He hadn’t bothered with styling his hair for ages, simply pulling on a black knit cap. 

“No, it’s just that all your performances lately have been so intense, so real. Your classmates are talking about them.” Rachel seemed as curious about this as Kurt was. 

Kurt shrugged again. He was just trying to get through each day. Immersing himself in practicing songs or dance moves was a way to stop thinking about other things, and so he was at the school very long hours. No point going home to an empty apartment, to be alone with his thoughts. Lonely. 

His phone vibrated, and he pulled it out. “I need to take this. Talk to you later, Rachel?” She nodded and moved away with a smile.

Kurt wanted to a quieter hallway, and texted Matt back, agreeing to meet in a café nearby. 

\---

For the end of March, it was still fairly cold. Kurt ordered a large latte, and wrapped his cold hands tight around the cup as he settled onto the sofa to wait for Matt, taking small sips of the almost-too-hot beverage. 

“Hey Kurt.” Matt appeared, smiling broadly. He set down his coat and school bag, and headed over to get his coffee. A couple minutes later, he was sipping an Americano on his end of the couch.

Kurt looked over his roommate, trying to identify what seemed different. He hadn’t been around the apartment much in recent weeks, so Kurt assumed things were going well with Janine. “You look like you have news, or a big secret.” 

Matt’s smile broadened. “It’s great for me, but it’s not so great for you.” He gave an apologetic grimace.

“OK, OK…. Just spill it.” Kurt waved his hand, encouraging Matt to come forth with his information.

Setting his cup down on the table, Matt took a dramatic pause, before smiling again. “Janine wants us to move in together.” 

Kurt’s eyebrows rose, and he gave Matt a small smile. “Good for you two. You’ve practically lived there this year, but it will be nice to be official with it. When will you move?” 

Matt nodded, looking at the calendar on his phone. “We were thinking at the end of the term, so the end of April. I wanted to give you a month’s notice at least, so you could figure out if you want to get another roommate or move somewhere else.” 

Scoffing, Kurt just shook his head. “Living with you the last couple years has totally spoiled me. I’ve gotten used to living on my own…too bad I can’t afford the rent on my own though.” 

“Well, hopefully I can still crash on the sofa occasionally if Janine and I have a fight, or I need a bit of space?” Matt smiled, but Kurt could see the touch of fear there for this new phase in his life.

Kurt smiled at his friend, and moved closer. “You know you will always be welcome, Matt.” He reached out and gave him a long, tight hug. They were very different people, but Kurt was a little sad for this change in his own life too. 

Sitting back, Kurt grabbed his latte from the table, and out of the corner of his eye, he caught sight of a familiar face. In shock, he froze, simply gapping at Sebastian looking directly at him from the barista area. It had been about six weeks since he had last seen him.

Matt saw where Kurt was staring, and even though he’d never met Sebastian in person, he put two and two together. “Go talk to him, you idiot.” He nudged Kurt’s shoulder, shaking him out of his stiff stance.

“Yes, yes…. Of course.” Kurt almost spilled his drink as he set it down with a shaking hand, and stood up. 

But as he turned to where Sebastian had just been, he was gone. Looking around, he could see he was already at the door. 

“Oh fuck!” Kurt mumbled, grabbing his coat and bag. “Call you later, Matt.” He rushed in Sebastian’s wake, determined to catch up with him. 

Throwing on his coat as he ran, Kurt was out of the café and looking both directions, not seeing any sign of Sebastian at all. _Fuck fuck fuck._ Picking a direction, Kurt headed to the left, jogging through the pedestrians, looking everywhere for the maroon of Sebastian’s winter coat. 

After three blocks, Kurt stopped, breathing hard as he leaned back against a building. Should he just go straight to Sebastian’s apartment, see if he could catch him there? 

Shrugging, Kurt thought it was worth a try.

\---

That night, Kurt was curled up on the sofa, trying to get a grip on what had happened that day. He didn’t see Sebastian again. He had buzzed the intercom at his apartment building. Dropped a quick text, not wanting to be a pest. No response… still.

Leaning back and closing his eyes, Kurt let those precious seconds in the café replay in his mind, for the hundredth time. Sebastian. Yes, there was no doubt that it had been him. His expression had been neutral, a knit cap covering his hair, dressed casually in jeans with his maroon ski parka. But there was something in his eyes, as he watched Kurt. Something that Kurt couldn’t get out of his mind. Kurt wasn’t sure what the expression was, exactly. But there had been something, something there.  
\----

A couple nights later, Kurt was home alone, and thinking far too much. Sebastian had still made no contact, and it was driving Kurt crazy. _Sheesh. It was OK to end a relationship._ Kurt wouldn’t be happy about it, but he was an adult enough to handle it. To have Sebastian try to disappear was ridiculous. Kurt just needed closure now, to hear it was over.

 _Fuck it._ Kurt grabbed his phone, and texted.

**What are you wearing? -K**

He set the phone down, and immediately groaned. What stupid impulse had he followed now? After so many bloody texts and messages that Sebastian hadn’t answered, why the hell had Kurt thought of sending that message? Maybe it was just to goad Sebastian into some kind of response. Hitting the hornets' nest with a stick.

There was no response. It was only after checking his phone for the tenth time that Kurt realized that it was April 1st. April Fool’s Day. Well, he was certainly the fool in this scenario.

\----

Kurt must have dozed off. The apartment was dark except for the shifting lights and colors coming from the TV. He sat up on the sofa, wondering what had made him wake up.

And then he startled, jerking up into a straight up position. “What the fuck…!” There was a tall shadow nearby that had moved.

As he watched, his heart thumping, the shadowy figure moved again, stepping closer until the glow from the TV played over him. Sebastian. 

Kurt simply sat on the sofa, blinking up at him in shock, his sleepy brain not putting together how Sebastian was there. Was he real? His face was neutral, his lips pressed tight together, his eyes travelling over Kurt. Kurt was looking Sebastian over just as thoroughly, and for the first time in weeks, felt awfully self-conscious of his sloppy attire. 

“Ah… what…” Kurt finally managed to get out, but Sebastian took a couple long-legged strides to the couch and pulled Kurt by the arms to standing, and he was crashing his mouth down on Kurt’s. Hungry and desperate right away.

Kurt let out a squeak of surprise, but then all higher thought fled, overwhelmed by the sensual overload of Sebastian. His kiss, his hands pulling Kurt’s body tight against his, his smell, the warmth of his body contrasting with the coolness of his face from being outside. Kurt’s body reacted instantly, melting against Sebastian, crowding closer, their kisses getting deeper, harder. And when Sebastian’s hands went to unbutton and unzip Kurt’s clothes, there was only a second’s delay before Kurt’s hands reciprocated on Sebastian’s. Half-undressed, they fell back onto the couch, breathing hard, touching, kissing. Kurt moaned as Sebastian’s mouth travelled down his neck to his most sensitive spots. 

\----

Kurt woke alone the next morning, still on the sofa, naked beneath the thick blanket. It almost felt like a dream, except for his state of undress, and the bite marks on his neck that he saw in the mirror when he stumbled to the washroom. 

By the time he was done showering and was going through the motions of styling his hair, Kurt had figured out that Sebastian must have used Kurt’s apartment key. They still had each other’s keys, as well as miscellaneous small things they had left at each other’s places. 

Was this just a one-time thing? Would Sebastian respond to texts now? What was happening? 

Kurt was just as confused as ever.

But for the first time in weeks, he was pulling some colorful clothes out of his closet, checking carefully that the bright scarf hid the highest bite mark in the mirror. He smoothed his hair back, promising himself to get a trim after classes today.

\----

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

 _'I'm Your Man'_ by Leonard Cohen. There's a good version by Michael Buble (very angsty) [here.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h07AZFLO6EY)


	11. Chapter 11

It was heaven and it was hell.

Being able to touch and taste and feel again. To get lost in Sebastian. To hear his moans, his quickened breaths, his sigh of satisfaction as he flopped back onto Kurt’s bed, his customary smirk firmly back in place. Looking entirely too pleased with himself. To be able to run his hands over those tight abs, push into his thick hair to pull him closer, to cup Sebastian’s ass, digging his fingers in. To kiss, and kiss, and kiss. Until he had to go shopping for a better cream to deal with the razor burn on his face and neck.

It was hours of pleasure in the darkest part of the nights, hidden away from the scrutiny of daylight. Night, after night, after night.

But there was no talking. No communication. Kurt’s texts still went unanswered. If he sent them or he didn’t, it didn’t seem to affect whether or not Sebastian would appear late in the night. He knew Kurt’s schedule and habits. Knew when Kurt would already be in bed or almost there, half-asleep on the sofa. When his defenses were weak, along with his reasoning skills. All too easy to push them aside for the pleasure at hand. And hard kisses stopped Kurt’s conversation attempts as well. He was easy to distract, even though he cursed his weakness in the cool light of the mornings.

Kurt was never sure when Sebastian would show up again. Or if he ever would. Maybe it was just a moment of weakness, and he would never see Sebastian again. It made Kurt a little desperate, hungry for his touch, soaking up every sensation as if it was his last. And Sebastian matched his intensity, touch for touch, kiss for kiss.

Kurt couldn't get enough, and it seemed Sebastian felt the same, as he showed up so many nights. But then three nights would pass with no sign of him, and Kurt getting more and more anxious. Sebastian would finally show up, giving a small smirk that was part apology and part 'what are you gonna do about it'. And Kurt's intentions to yell at Sebastian flew out the window with the hot press of their lips together. 

Kurt was too hungry to complain about the scraps and crumbs of attention Sebastian was feeding him. He ate it up, always looking for more, begging for more. Shameless. His pride was gone, and Sebastian had all the power. 

\---

A brush of fingers along his arm woke Kurt, and then the bed dipped as the familiar stranger crawled into his bed. Rolling onto his back, Kurt shivered under Sebastian's touch, as he ran cool fingers down his chest, making a tsk sound of disapproval when he encountered Kurt's briefs. 

"From now on, sleep naked for me." Sebastian's voice was a low growl, and Kurt nodded in the darkness. Sebastian's words implied he would be coming back, coming again, and it sent a thrill through Kurt. 

Impatient hands stripped Kurt quickly, before Sebastian shifted, kissing down his chest. Kurt felt thankful for the darkness, feeling self conscious of his protruding ribs and hipbones. He had been eating more lately, finally hungry since Sebastian had started these late night visits. But he hadn't gained back all the weight he'd lost during those six long weeks apart.

Sebastian's mouth was kissing over Kurt's stomach, making him arch up in response, already hard and aching. A simple look or touch from Sebastian was all it took, usually. His body knew his smell, his presence, and Kurt sunk easily into the mindless haze of sensations. Sebastian's lips teased over Kurt's erection, making him writhe and pant, as his slick fingers prepped him. 

When Sebastian flipped him over onto all fours, Kurt was very ready, pushing his ass back towards him. He heard the soft tear of the condom package, and it made Kurt's heart catch. They had gotten tested and stopped using condoms in December. But since Sebastian started appearing in April, he'd used condoms. And it broke Kurt's heart a little, thinking of whom else Sebastian spent his nights with, when he wasn't with Kurt. 

Even knowing that, Kurt still sighed as Sebastian pushed deep into him, savoring their physical closeness. It was always so intimate, so intense. Kurt held nothing back, pushing back hard with each of Sebastian's thrusts, needing to feel him. Wanting to be a bit sore and achy the next day. His body would match his heart.

"So good, baby, so hot and tight..." Sebastian's rough whisper twisted Kurt's arousal higher. Kurt angled his body for the best sensations, shuddering as he got closer to his own release. Could it ever feel this good, this intense, with anyone else? Kurt panted as he pushed back, needing Sebastian so bad.

A low groan signaled Sebastian's peak, and Kurt followed soon after, listening to Sebastian's chanting praise with a heavy heart. Always endearments like 'baby' or 'gorgeous'. Never Kurt. Did Sebastian even know whose bed he was in?

Too soon, Sebastian was out of the bed, pulling his clothes on. Kurt could only stare up at him, the bedcovers pulled up over his cooling skin. _Talk to me..._ Kurt wanted to scream it out, but he was stopped by his own fears and weaknesses. He'd rather be miserable with Sebastian showing up like this, than have no Sebastian at all. 

Too soon, Sebastian gave Kurt a light kiss and was out the door. 

\---  
"Kurt, you should go back to Ohio for the summer." Rachel's voice jarred Kurt out of his sleepy state. They were in a cafe, studying, but the caffeine wasn't doing much good after too many late nights with Sebastian lately. 

Kurt rubbed his hands over his face, trying to pull himself together. "Ohio? For a visit? Yeah, maybe in August before school starts up again." 

Shaking her head, Rachel's glance was the familiar concerned look he was getting sick of seeing. "No, Kurt. Go for the whole summer. Sublet your apartment here and get a job doing a play at Summer stock or something. Anything to be away from New York for a few months." 

Kurt scoffed softly. She said to be away from New York, but he knew she meant to be away from Sebastian. "I already have a full time position set up at Vogue." He sipped his coffee. 

She sighed, impatient. "Kurt, you can't keep going on like this. It's unhealthy. It's bad for you."

Kurt knew it was true, but he also knew he couldn't stop. 

Rachel had seen the change in Kurt this last month, happy to see Kurt was dressing more like himself and eating. She figured Sebastian was back, after catching a glimpse of a bite mark on his neck when his scarf slipped. Kurt wasn't the type to have passionate sex like that with just anyone. But Kurt wasn't talking about Sebastian. 

"I'm OK, Rachel. I just need to get to bed at an earlier hour." Kurt smiled a bit to himself, thinking back to the previous night. He was sleeping naked all the time now, half-aroused as he waited for the sound of his door unlocking. Usually, he fell asleep before Sebastian arrived. But it was so good to wake up to his touch. 

She moved closer, putting her hand on his arm. "No, you are not OK, Kurt. For weeks you were like a zombie, losing so much weight, barely making it through each day. But now it's like you are half-alive. It’s better than you were before, but it's still not really living. A good relationship should make you feel fully alive, Kurt. Should make you happy. He should be sharing your life, not stealing moments from you. Stealing your energy, stealing your sleep."

Kurt rolled his eyes at Rachel. She made Sebastian sound like some sexual vampire. And he had the bites on his neck to prove it. He chuckled as he leaned over to kiss her cheek. "I'm fine, Rachel. Stop worrying about me."

\---  
And the next few days Rachel's words repeated again in again in his head, refusing to be ignored. 

They reminded Kurt of his NYADA audition song, and the lyrics started to be an earworm. Something Kurt was singing constantly to himself.. 

_Somebody, hold me too close,_  
_Somebody, hurt me too deep,_  
_Somebody, sit in my chair_  
_And ruin my sleep_  
_And make me aware_  
_Of being alive,_  
_Being alive._

\---  
Disclaimer: I own nothing.

-Midnight Caller:  


_'Being Alive'_ from Company. 


	12. Chapter 12

Kurt was ready when Sebastian came to him to next time. He was watching TV on the sofa, and as soon as he heard the key in the lock, he was on his feet. When the door opened, he drew Sebastian in.

Like always, they didn't speak. Sebastian's eyes looked over Kurt slowly, taking in his big eyes, the fitted tee, the grey yoga pants. Kurt similarly took Sebastian in...his sexy green eyes, his handsome face, the slight smirk on his lips, and his tall, muscular body in jeans and a red sweater.

Taking his hand, Kurt guided Sebastian to the dark bedroom, turning on the small bedside lamp for a soft glow. Reaching up, he kissed Sebastian thoroughly, letting the kiss intensify slowly. It was the first time he'd initiated a kiss for ages. Sebastian's hands went to Kurt's shoulders, drawing him closer, his breathing already speeding up.

After a few moments, Kurt pulled back and his hands went to Sebastian's sweater, pulling it up and off. He looked over Sebastian's bare chest, his gaze admiring, and when Sebastian reached for his clothes, he batted his hands away gently. Kurt moved closer, running his hands over Sebastian's chest, and following them with small kisses.

Kneeling, he looked up at Sebastian's face as he undid the zipper of his jeans, taking his time to push the thick fabric down his long legs. His hands soon repeated this with his grey briefs, leaving Sebastian naked and beautiful before him.

Standing up, Kurt pulled back the bed covers and pushed Sebastian down on it, moving away from his clutching hands. He stood back, watching Sebastian's face as he slowly undressed, watching the way those green eyes seemed to grow darker as Kurt stripped down to being completely bare. He was almost back to his normal weight now, and felt comfortable under his former boyfriend's gaze.

Crawling onto the bed, Kurt straddled Sebastian, leaning down to capture his mouth in kiss after kiss. Sebastian moaned, his hands sinking into Kurt's hair as his breathing sped up. Kurt's kisses went lower, mapping over his chest, lingering on each mole and freckle.

Unlike their other nights in the last month, Kurt was fully present. He was aroused, but didn't lose himself in the sensuality like he had other times. He took in every response to his touches, determined to bring the most possible out of Sebastian, to soak it all in. With his hands and lips, he explored thoroughly, revisiting old favorite spots and discovering new ones. He set the pace, not allowing Sebastian to rush him.

***

It had been incredibly intense, and they both needed a few minutes to cool back down. But when Sebastian gave Kurt a kiss and rolled to the side of the bed to dress, Kurt matched his motions. He was dressed first, and walked out into the living room.

Standing in front of the door, Kurt turned to face Sebastian. "I want my key back."

Sebastian's step faltered as he walked towards him. His brows furrowed, and he pinned Kurt with an intense look. "Your key? Why?"

"Because this..." Kurt waved around them, "is over." He took a deep breath, tilting his chin up as he challenged Sebastian straight on.

Sebastian's eyes had a flash of hurt, and then they dropped. When he met Kurt's eyes again, the facade was in place. He walked slowly towards Kurt, his green eyes predatory. "Are you sure?"

Kurt stepped back as Sebastian continued to advance, until he bumped against the door. He closed his eyes against Sebastian's nearness. _Fuck. They had just been in bed together. How could Sebastian exude sexuality like that, already?_ And Kurt was helpless as he felt a curl of arousal deep inside in response. He was just hard wired to always want Sebastian.

"No...stop." Kurt's voice was a bit shaky, but he gathered himself and pressed a hand firmly against Sebastian's chest until he stepped back. "This is over, Sebastian. I'm no longer one of your hook-ups. I want my key back. Yours is there." He nodded over to the small table near the door, where a lone key sat.

Sebastian glanced down at it for a few heartbeats, and then his eyes were searching Kurt's. "You planned this? And before?" He waved towards the bedroom. "Was that my Goodbye Fuck?" His tone was a mix of anger and hurt.

Kurt tilted his chin up again, steeling himself. "Yes. This all ends tonight." He had deliberately taken his time with Sebastian before, savoring every touch, kissing over his body thoroughly, making the sex as incredible as he could for both of them. He'd pulled out everything he'd learned from Sebastian over the past year.

"Kurt, don't do this..." He lifted a hand up towards him, stepping closer.

Hearing his name from Sebastian for the first time in so, so long, Kurt had to turn his face away for a second, blinking back his tears. He knew his eyes were probably getting red, but he held it together. Barely.

Raising his eyebrows at Kurt's obvious distress, Sebastian put his hand in his pocket, pulling out his keys. He removed the key, looking up at Kurt, his expression guarded. “Can we talk about this?”

Scoffing, Kurt grabbed the key from Sebastian’s hand. “Now you want to talk? Because I’m not going to be one of your fuck buddies anymore?”

“Just come over to the sofa, Kurt. We need to talk. Please.” Sebastian ran his hand through his hair, sighing. He suddenly had lost all his swagger. He just sounded drained and sad. Defeated.

Kurt shook his head, backing away from the door now that he had the key, clutching it so hard in his hand that the metal was almost cutting into his skin. Knowing he had the key was a relief. No more could Sebastian just show up, overcome Kurt's flimsy defenses with soft words and hard kisses. It was a talisman of having his power back.

"No, Sebastian. It’s not fair to let me touch you, want you, but not let me in. Like my nose is forever pressed up against the glass, with the perfect guy always just out of reach." Kurt struggled to keep from crying, wiping away the few tears that escaped.

Sebastian scoffed. "Perfect guy, yeah right."

Kurt nodded, feeling like everything he'd been bottling up for so long was rushing out. "Well, perfect for me...yeah. But I don’t care how gorgeous you are, how much you make me laugh, how incredible you are in bed. I can't continue with you like this. It's breaking me."

Sebastian was just giving Kurt a funny half-smile, as Kurt took a big breath before continuing his rant.

"I want a real relationship, not just sex. I can't continue being your fuck buddy, Sebastian. It doesn't matter that I love you, it just hurts too fucking much." Kurt's voice was soft at the end, his energy winding down after such an emotional night.

Sebastian's eyes widened, shocked. He was just standing there. “You love me?”

Kurt's head snapped up, searching Sebastian's gaze. "What...? Ah, no...I didn't say that." Frantically, he thought over what he'd said during his rant, cringing at all he'd revealed.

Sebastian just shook his head slowly, a small smile tilting up one side of his mouth. He walked closer to Kurt. "No, I'm pretty sure you said you wanted a relationship, not being fuck buddies, because you love me."

Kurt looked up at Sebastian, now standing directly in front of him. There was a wall at his back...no easy escape. _Damn._ "Well, maybe I said that. Back in the study, you said you wanted a relationship too. So, you better stop fucking me and get out of here and start looking for it." Kurt tried to keep his voice strong. But having Sebastian so close, looking down at him like that...it was very distracting.

"But I like fucking you..." Sebastian turned his charm on strong, resting a hand on the wall by Kurt's head. Crowding into him, his voice a sensual purr. "And I know you like fucking me." He bent down, brushing a light kiss over Kurt's lips.

"Sebastian, stop..." Kurt could feel his defenses crumbling.

Sebastian's green eyes were so close to Kurt's, his lips still within kissing distance. "Don't you realize yet that I can't stop, Kurt? That I can't keep away from you?" He closed his eyes for a moment, and then opened them. They were totally unguarded. Completely Sebastian. "I love you, Kurt."

Kurt startled, blinking. His eyes searched Sebastian's. Could this be true?

Closing the tiny distance between them, Sebastian kissed Kurt, wrapping his arms around him tightly. The kiss was firm and thorough, and Kurt's heart was pounding hard by the time Sebastian finally lifted his face, gazing down at Kurt, his feelings so clear expressed in his eyes. Warmth, affection... Love.

Kurt had never seen a look from Sebastian like that before, and it made his breath catch. "Um....I love you, Bas." Kurt had to say it. Make it clear.

His confession got him more kisses, Sebastian's expression so happy as he cupped Kurt's face. Kurt let out a surprised squeak when Sebastian wrapped his arms around him and lifted him a couple inches off the floor. With a few quick steps, they were on the sofa, wrapped tight in each other's arms as they shared kiss after kiss.

\---

"But really, Kurt? The perfect guy?" Sebastian looked relaxed and content, his lips very swollen from their extended make-out session.

Kurt snuggled closer to his boyfriend. "Perfect for me. You are so amazing. I just love spending time with you."

Sebastian still didn't look too convinced. Kurt looked over at the wall for other ways to explain it.

"Nobody I know would have laughed as hard as I did at the twisted humour of _'The Book of Mormon'_ with me. Not Rachel, not Mercedes..." Kurt thought a second. "Well, maybe Sam would though...and maybe Puck."

Seeing the unimpressed looked on Sebastian's face, Kurt rushed on. "And nobody else I know is as tall and gorgeous as you." Kurt nodded confidently. "Well...except Sam maybe... He's done some modeling, you know. And Puck looks pretty amazing without his shirt on."

Sebastian was giving him a disbelieving look. Kurt reined in his rambling mouth. It was late and he was obviously saying far too much.

But then Kurt rushed on again, wanting to finish making his point. "Nobody else speaks French..."

"If you mention any other men, I'm calling this whole thing off." Sebastian interrupted, jokingly. He sighed. "I know that we are very compatible. But I'm still kind of fucked up. Hardly perfect, Kurt."

Kurt gave him a hug. "Thank god you have a flaw or two, or I'd probably think you were totally out of my league."

Sebastian let out a deep breath, seeming to relax even more. "I feel so incredibly happy right now, Kurt. I've been so worried about us, our relationship, since New Years. Since the start, really. Worried that I won't have what it takes to make a relationship work. Worried that I won't be a good boyfriend for you."

“Is that what was happening when you wouldn’t talk to me after our fight?” Kurt had wondered about this for so long.

Sebastian sighed. "I started to feel like you were pulling away from me, and I was worried that you were losing interest in me. That you’d come to your senses and realized I wasn’t worth the trouble of dealing with all my shit. That it would be easier for you to be with someone like Blaine. Seeing you with him..." Shaking his head, Sebastian ran a hand through his hair. "…it scared me so much. I think I avoided you after that because I thought you might break up with me, make it official. I didn’t know how to talk to you about my feelings. I felt a bit overwhelmed, a bit out of my depth."

"Then, when you sexted me, it was something I knew.” Sebastian gave Kurt a half-hearted smirk. “I could be your hook-up guy, no questions asked. And I was so desperate to see you, touch you..." He shrugged, looking young. 

Kurt nodded, understanding more about his side of things now. It was sometimes hard to see beyond Sebastian’s confident outer shell and remember that he was still new to relationships, and wasn’t always in touch with what was happening. Kurt would need to talk to him more, push him to get into the habit of being more open with his feelings.

"Overall, you have been great. I think what really screwed things up after the holidays was how busy we got, and not keeping up with each other enough." Kurt said softly.

Sebastian sighed. "Well, we are both hard working people, so we will need to figure out how to balance everything.”

Kurt's glance fell to his key on the coffee table. And an idea hit him. _Was it too much? Too soon?_

"Um, Bas....I had an idea. Tell me honestly if you think it's too much." Kurt bit his lip.

Sebastian's eyes widened, looking curious. "What is it?"

Taking a deep breath, Kurt let it out slowly. "I'm going to make the suggestion, but I don't want you to give your final answer to it right now. I think it's something we both need to think over for a few days. Ok?"

Sebastian nodded, clearly listening attentively.

"Matt's moving out next week, and I haven't found another roommate. Maybe you could move into his room?" Kurt put his hands up, preventing Sebastian from saying anything. "Just let me say what I'm thinking... I think it would be good if we had our own rooms to retreat to, if we need some space. It would be much easier at night. No late night subways or taxis. And we could just try it for the summer, see if we're good together. You could even sublet your place, or keep it...I know this is a big step. Blaine and I moved in together too quickly and it was really bad for our relationship in the long run."

Sebastian was nodding, but he looked happy. He squeezed Kurt's hand. "You really wouldn't mind me leaving your bed every night to sleep on my own?"

Kurt hugged him. "No, I can deal with it. And living in the same apartment will make it so much easier. Plus, this way, we can cuddle together in the mornings, which you know I love so much."

“I think living together will be good. We can hang out together for meals and studying. Less travel time. More sex." Sebastian gave Kurt a little smirk. 

Kurt returned it, pleased that Sebastian seemed so on board with the idea. "Bas, this is great, but I'm so tired. I'm afraid to look at the clock." Kurt sat up, yawning. "Why don't you go sleep in Matt's bed? The sheets are clean. Consider it a test run for maybe moving in here."

Getting up from the sofa, Sebastian pulled Kurt to stand up. He did look really tired. "OK. I love you, Mon petit Chou." And after a long good night kiss, they headed for the separate bedrooms.

\---

"Did I tell you about Bianca's news?" Sebastian wrapped his arms around Kurt's waist, pulling him close.

Kurt stretched up to plant a kiss on his handsome boyfriend's cheek. "No, what?"

Sebastian smiled, looking happy and excited. "She's moving to New York for the summer to work on a case. Kind of a trial run to see if she wants to transfer here permanently."

Waving around the empty bedroom, Kurt chuckled. "Does she need a place to stay?" It was May 1st, and Matt had moved out earlier. Kurt was sweeping the floor.

Sebastian gave him a teasing grin. "Well, as long as your offer is still open, I thought she could stay at my place and I could move in here."

Dropping the broom, Kurt hauled Sebastian down to kiss him properly. Thoroughly. Until Sebastian was groaning and grabbing Kurt's ass, lifting him until Kurt wrapped his legs around Sebastian's waist.

Kurt giggled as Sebastian walked quickly over to Kurt's bedroom and dumped them both onto the bed. But it didn't take long for his happy giggles to turn into deep moans, as their clothes came off and their kisses intensified.

\---

Sebastian had his arms wrapped around Kurt loosely, and was running his hands back and forth along his silky skin. Cuddling in bed naked with his hot, incredible boyfriend was definitely one of his favorite things to do. 

Kurt was sleepy, but he had to bring something up that had been nagging at him. "Bas, I know we've had a rocky few months, and I don't hold anything you have done against you. But could you go get tested soon? I'd like to go back to not using condoms again."

Sebastian's eyebrow tilted up. "And aren't you going to get tested too?"

Kurt shrugged. "There hasn't been anyone else since you." As if he could even have been interested in anyone else when they had been apart. Plus he looked like a walking skeleton back then. Not exactly appealing.

"The same for me.." Sebastian was smiling broadly.

Kurt scrunched up his eyebrows. "Then why the condoms lately?"

Sebastian let out a sigh, fidgeting with Kurt's hand. "You were the one singing duets with your ex and not telling me about it. You were the one hugging cute men in cafes." He shrugged. "You are gorgeous and talented. You don't seem even to notice how many men are into you. Even during that role play at Scandals, there were three other guys edging closer to you by the time I walked to the bar."

Letting out a surprised laugh, Kurt cuddled into Sebastian. "Blaine is just a friend and classmate now and I'm so, so sorry I didn't tell you about that duet. The guy in the cafe was my roommate Matt, and I was hugging him to congratulate him for deciding to move in with his girlfriend. And I don't even notice other men paying attention to me, because I only see you."

That comment set off another intense make-out session.

“Wait, wait….” Kurt pulled back for air, and jumped out of the bed. 

Sebastian hooted at him as he ran naked to the living room and came back, jumping under the covers again, a big smile on his face.

“Close your eyes and put out your hand, Bas.” Kurt’s eyes sparkled up at him, and Sebastian was smiling as he followed the directions.

Kurt placed his key on Sebastian’s palm. “OK, you can open your eyes now.” 

Looking down at his palm, Sebastian smiled at seeing the key there. When they had exchanged keys last fall, it had been a big step. A sign of trust and their deepening relationship. 

But this time it meant even more. This was Kurt inviting Sebastian into his personal space. To share the apartment, but also to share so much more. To share their lives. Kurt was giving him the key, letting him in. Sebastian had to be just as open with Kurt, let him in all the way. 

Looking up at Kurt, he knew his eyes were brimming with tears. “Are you sure, Kurt? Are you really sure you want to live looking at this smirky little meerkat face every day?” 

Kurt chuckled, and then curled Sebastian’s fingers over the key. “Yup, I happen to be in love with the owner of that face. And I want to see your smirk every single fucking day.” 

Chuckling, Sebastian leaned closer, smirking until their lips touched, and sinking into a deep kiss.

\----  
Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Thanks so much for reading this series so far! Seeing all the hits, kudos & comments has been really great.

The people have spoken. :D Now I am thinking about doing one more part to this series. Stay tuned.

-Goodbye Sex:  


-Follow me on delightful-fear.tumblr.com


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